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Back in 1974, corruption and lies were running rampant in the streets. To put an end to this corruption, one man was put in charge of the team that was given this job. That man is of no relation to me.

Mission Statement

Greetings, and welcome to my blog. I am the main person who operates this blog. Ok, I'm the only person who operates this blog. But I was trying to sound professional. Anyways, this blog's really about nothing. Just my thoughts on whatever comes to my mind. Hope it doesn't suck. Haha.

Peace and love.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

You Made A Believer Outta Me.

So, lately, I've been considering starting a band. I have tried to create a few, but for whatever reasons, it seems to epically fail and nothing (or a substantially miniscule amount of work) gets done. What can I say? I want to play in a rock band and live my dream. Just like Michael Polinko in those Bowflex commercials. Despite this lack of success with my dreams of musical stardom, I've come to the conclusion that I couldn't really decide what band I want to sound like. I like a large amount of bands, among them the following:

Pink Floyd
The Smashing Pumpkins
The Strokes
Nine Inch Nails
Jimi Hendrix
Albert Hammond Jr.
Julian Casablancas (solo)
Frank Zappa
A Perfect Circle
The Cars
The Stone Roses
Franz Ferdinand
Zwan (the one album they released is amazing)
Jimmy Chamberlin Complex
Silversun Pickups
The Lonely Island
Flight of the Conchords
Death Cab For Cutie
Joy Division
Maroon 5
The Airborne Toxic Event
Linkin Park
John Mayer
Green Day
Guns N' Roses
Foo Fighters
Kings of Leon
New Order
Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR)
The Doors
The Police
The White Stripes
Vampire Weekend
Coheed and Cambria
The Beatles
My Bloody Valentine
Snow Patrol

Lot of bands, eh? Yeah, I know. So, I couldn't pinpoint just one band I want to sound like. Then it came to me: I want to sound like Primal Scream.

Wait, who?

Yeah, Primal Scream. They're a band you've probably never heard of. And they play so many odd styles of music. They can play anything from classic rock to dance to electronica to heavy metal, and sound relatively good while doing so. And they're wonderful.

So, here are some of my fave Primal Scream songs. Enjoy. Or don't. Whatever.


Thursday, December 24, 2009

You Seem Very Beautiful To Me.

Merry Christmas Eve to all. And a Merry Christmas too. And Happy Haunakah (and apologies for completely butchering the spelling of that). And Happy Kwanzaa as well. And to Jehovah's Witnesses, well Happy Regular Day, since you guys don't celebrate any holidays.

So, I haven't blogged in 23 days. What I want to say is a combination of me being superstitious about not blogging in 23 days (the Number 23, anyone?) and me talking about how shocked I am that the fine folks here at Blogger.com haven't deleted my blog because of inactivity. So, thank you for not deleting my blog, Blogger, and how weird is it that I haven't blogged in 23 days?!!??!?!? Not that 23 is a recurring number in my life, but I just found it odd. If I were Jim Carrey's character in the The Number 23, I would've been thrown entirely over the edge. Metaphorically speaking of course. I wouldn't have literally been thrown off the edge of something. That didn't happen in the movie. But nonetheless, I digress.

I'm stoked about Christmas, and I hope you all are as well. Because if you aren't............then what the hell is wrong with you? It's freaking Christmas! I'm pumped about it. So with that, I will go off and enjoy my Christmas Eve. I hope you all do the same.

Stay classy!


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Your Mom Goes To College.

This video needs no explanation. One of the funniest clips, if not the funniest clip, from the film Napoleon Dynamite.



No One Gonna Take Me Alive.

So, it's December. Hard to believe, really. At least for me. It seems like a few days ago I started college, and I'll have completed my first semester in a couple of weeks, so that's amazing. It's crazy to me though that this year is nearly over. So much has happened this year, but overall this year has been tremendous. Last year was pretty good, but as most people know, it wasn't an easy year for me, losing my grandmother and my brother, but I still tried to stay positive and had a good year overall. Thankfully, this year has been overall great. Nothing horrible has happened this year, which I'm absolutely grateful for, and I'm happy with my life overall as of this moment. Well, I suppose some things could be better, but overall I can't complain. I'm happy with the way this year has gone, but it isn't over yet. I've still got a month left to kick some ass, take some names, and finish this year off right. Not necessarily in that order. Ok, I don't think that "not necessarily in that order" really made sense after what I said, but whatever. I digress. Carpe Diem, mutha'uckas. :D

Well, I didn't really have much to say in this blog, but I just wanted to vent about some stuff and get this month of blogging started off right. Mission accomplished. Possibly. I'll let you be the judge of that.

Be blessed. :)


Sunday, November 29, 2009

Poseidon, Look At Me. Whoa, Oh.

Hello there. I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving break. What's not to like about it? Food. Football. No school. Well, no school if you're going to school. Though I guess if you aren't going to school, you still have no school on Thanksgiving break, but you'd think it wouldn't be all that different. Nonetheless, I had a solid Thanksgiving break. I enjoyed the time off and it was good to get a break from school. However, I had an odd experience that I would like to share.

Yesterday, I was listening to my iPod (60 GB classic FTW!) with this cheap little battery powered speaker that hooks up to the headphone jack. After I finished listening to it.......wait, I guess I wasn't listening to it, so I went to take it off of the speaker, and what happens next?

The headphone jack of the speaker breaks off into my iPod. Son of a bitch.

However, I come up with the idea of using some staples to try and get it out. That doesn't work. So, I think "Hmm......the staples are too thin! We need something thick, yet small!" After this thought runs into my head, I think of using a sewing needle. Well, I don't just think about using one, I actually do use one. Despite my supposedly brilliant thinking (according to absolutely nobody but me), the headphone jack is still stuck inside of my iPod. At this point, I'm freaking out. Well, not really, but I get upset about the situation. Well, not upset, but whatever. Nevermind.

Later, my father (thanks Dad! *thumbs up*) eventually does get the headphone jack out of my iPod. Not sure how, but he did it. He went out in the garage, and came back inside with my iPod, which was lacking a broken headphone jack stuck inside of it. Maybe he used magic and made it levitate out of the iPod. The world may never know, I suppose.

So, this story was fairly pointless, but I'm bored, and that's what was on my mind, so here you are.


Friday, November 27, 2009

It's A Chance I'll Have To Take.

Allow me to begin by saying that I'm not the best with finding the right words to say. But you knew that. :D Haha. Anyways, I'll try to keep this as brief as humanly possible.

I still like you. Quite a bit, actually. But you probably knew that as well. I don't know. I also miss you terribly and I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I just.....I don't know. Seemingly, you're one of the few people, and probably the only girl, who I can fully be myself around and not have to worry about you being like "Oh, wow, he's weird" or whatever. However, having said that, I know you like him. And I'm completely fine with that. No problems whatsoever. No jealousy, bad blood, or whatnot. I understand totally.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: if you want to go for it with him, then I'm totally fine with that. I know that you like him as well, and I don't want to get in the way of that. And, who knows? If something becomes of it, then that's fantastic. I'll be insanely happy for you. He'll have an absolutely amazing, caring, funny, sweet, and tremendous girl that is undeniably like any other girl out there, and I mean that in the absolute nicest possible way. I truly do care about you and I really like you alot, but above all else, I'm your friend, and I'll support you entirely, no matter what you do. Basically, it's entirely up to you. :)

I'll Take You To The Seven Seas of Rhye.

Hello world. I need to get back in the blogging phase. Because I never do. Or it seems as though I never do.

Now, to answer the all important question: where have I been? Well, obviously not on my blog. I'd go as far to say that if my blog were a trophy, it would be covered in dust and cobwebs. I've neglected it. I'm a terrible blogowner. Woe is me. Eh, whatever, I'm getting back into the blogging mode. It's like riding a bike, you don't forget. Then again, I never learned to ride a bike. Not sure why. Just issues with the balancing and all. My mom promised me a copy of Paper Mario if I learned to ride a bike when I was in elementary school, and Paper Mario is one of my favorite games ever, but that didn't convince me. So I basically gave up. That's right, kids. If something's too difficult to do, then give up. It's impossible to fail if you never try. Ok, bad advice, but I'm on a roll, and this blog is semi-decently long, so don't stop me.

Crap, now I've stopped. Oh well. This blog turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I basically just winged it. Go me. I'll be back with more at some point. It's time to get back into the mode of blogging. I owe it to you, the reader. Or maybe I don't. Whatever. I'll be back with a new blog soonish.

Don't give up on me.



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

New Pumpkins Album Stuff.

So, I'm excited about the new Pumpkins album, despite the weird title. The songs that are supposedly going to be released (aka the 1st 4 tracks) sounds like they're great. According to producer Kerry Brown, when the 1st song is going to be released from Teargarden by Kaleidyscope, the Pumpkins new (and free) album that'll be released one track at a time, "is in God's hands." While awaiting the 1st track, by doing a little bit of research from Kerry's Twitter page, where he frequently posts videos and pics of the Pumpkins in studio, 2 of the 1st songs to be released are going to be A Song For A Song and Widow Wake My Mind, both of which sound great live from what I've heard of them. Here are some live videos of the two songs being performed by Spirits in the Sky, a Sky Saxon tribute band:

Also, follow Kerry Brown on Twitter for more info on the Pumpkins album: twitter.com/studiodog

And check out his blog on here: glittercop.blogspot.com

Have a tremendous day!


Monday, November 9, 2009

Doin' Stuff With The Food.


So, I recently borrowed the 1st season of Flight of the Conchords from my friend Chris, who is borrowing it from my friend Mitch. Complicated triangle of DVD viewing, isn't it? I'm not sure if that made sense. But anyways, I watched the 1st season of FOTC, and lemme tell ya: it's tremendous. The way they mix their songs in with the hilarious ridiculous stories they have is hilarious. One of the funniest songs on Flight of the Conchords was a song, oddly enough, by a band that isn't FOTC. A band featuring comedians Todd Barry and Demetri Martin, called the Crazy Dogggz (3 g's and a z). You'd likely have to watch the episode of FOTC featuring this song to get the gist of what's going on, but basically:

Todd is a bongo player who Murray, the band's manager, invited to join Flight of the Conchords, but Bret and Jemaine (Flight of the Conchords), want Todd out after he plays ridiculous bongo solos. Eventually, the bands goes to fire Todd, but Todd convinces Jemaine to fire Bret instead. Bret starts a new band with Demetri, a keytar player. The two bands, known as Flight of the Conchords and the Original Flight of the Conchords, play a few gigs together, and then eventually, Todd and Demitri decide to form their own band, called the Crazy Dogggz. They perform the following song, Doggy Bounce. And hilarity ensues:

So, yeah, Flight of the Conchords is great. Check it out for yourself if you can. You won't regret it. Promise.


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Cash Rules Everything Around Me.

Greetings. So, this is my first blog of the month. Well, actually my 3rd, I guess, but it's my first legit blog. The first was just these random lyrics I wrote and the 2nd was a video, but this blog: oh, it's not either of those. It's much different.

Allow me to start by saying the following: I HATE annotated bibliographies.

Basically, the reason I say this is because they seem incredibly unnecessary. Bibliographies themselves, they're fine. Citing your sources and all so you don't get sued randomly by ESPN.com for stealing their information, you know? It makes sense. I get that. I just don't get the "annotation" part of it. It seems fairly meaningless. I mean, for our AB (I'm abbreviating it from now on, because it takes forever to type if I don't), we have to type a paragraph (at least) talking about the author of the source we are using, AND why/if the source is helpful or not. Now, I mean, logic tells me if you're using a source for a 2000 word Argument essay in a college class, it's going to be helpful in some way, shape, or form. If not, then it's a huge ass waste of time. It just seems like more work than needs to be done, in my opinion. I'm sure there's people out there who get their jollies from annotated bibliographies. However, I am not one of those people. And if YOU are one of those people, you should be smacked upside the head. Well, maybe not that, but I digress.

Rant over.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Meaning of Life is to Give Life Meaning.

In my journeys across cyberspace, I come across a large amount of things. This video is one of them, courtesy of The Onion:


Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Def Poetry Jam #3!

I propose a 51st star to put upon our flag
Because I feel the need to escape the USA
A newly renovated reservation for myself
I'll fake a smile, pretending it's ok

Please interrupt me if you've heard this story once before
One man rebelling against the world
In an attempt to justify fictional causes in his mind
Perhaps he'll even end up with the girl

This city and this town seem to always drag me down
Nobody ever shows me sympathy
Thought I'd lost the only thing that ever meant a thing to me
I'm getting by in life's classroom with a D

Friday, October 30, 2009

Am I Moving In Slow Motion?

Greetings, and Happy Halloween to all. So, I'm going to be completely honest here: I have nothing blogworthy to share with you today. Except for the fact that I made up a new word: blogworthy. I should patent that shit. Anyways, I can't really think of anything to blog about at the moment, but then again, it is 1 in the morning and I'm quite sleepy. So maybe that factors in. I don't really know. I ain't a scientist. Anyways, this is another one of those "nothing to blog about, so I'll ramble" blogs that most people have come to know all too well here on TOM. Again, that's a great acronym, ain't it? TOM = Tales of Misfortune, just so ya know. But you knew that! Alas, I digress. So, I apologize for wasting your time with an absolutely pointless blog.

You're welcome.

Enjoy the holiday.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wanna Wrestle?

So, most people who have talked to me may not know this, but I am a huge wrestling fan. I love wrestling. Sure, call it fake or lame or whatever you want, but it's a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Well, I haven't watched wrestling in about 2 or 3 years, but a lot of my faves were people who were lesser known wrestlers. So, I'm going to start by posting some of some of my favorite wrestlers of 2 or 3 years ago doing what they do.

This match features two of my faves: Paul London and Brian Kendrick. Most people are in agreement that these guys were two of the best wrestlers the WWE. They aren't as well known as, say, John Cena or Randy Orton, but they can still put on a damn entertaining match.

So, that's all for now. Peace and love. And wrestling.


This Video Literally Made My Day.

Not much description needed. This is from the show Operation Repo on TruTV. And it's one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen in a long time. Credit goes to Matthew Hayes for finding this and posting it on Facebook. Enjoy.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Def Poetry Jam #2!

I am nonexistant
I am never there
I'm tired of pretending
Pretending I don't care
I am in a lonely place
I am with my friends
Feeling like I can't escape
From those whom I depend on

I am the toxic fumes in the atmosphere
Responsible for global warming, so they say
I am the sun and it's rather warm embrace
Telling you it's time to start the day
I am the rain on a summer afternoon
Falling like tiny missiles from the sky
I am the baptized man cleansed of all decay
Though I do not know the reasons why

I am isolated
From all my doubts in fears
If I just ignore them
It's like they were never here
I am everything at once
In the universe
Things will likely get better
Before they get worse

I am the combine that harvests all the crops
Getting your work done before the game
I am the parachute pants in your closet
That you don't wear 'cause your friends think they're lame
I am the wings on a bald eagle
Helping the icon of America to fly
I am the sun as it shines upon the world
Though I do not know the reasons why

I am sleeping right now
I cannot hear your words
Counting sheep has bored me
Some might call me disturbed
You are right beside me
Though, you're truly far away
Everything is jumbled inside
I can't find the words to say

I am the toxic fumes inside the atmosphere
That cause the acid rain to fall down from the sky
I am the sun and it's nonexistant face
Watching the world as it starts up the day
I am the rain on a summer afternoon
As noticeable as a battle cry
I am the baptized man cleansed of all decay
And thankfully, I know the reasons why

I've Got Nothing To Say.

Well, the title of this entry should tell you all you need to know about this......entry. Yeah. In all honesty, I have nothing to say. Not literally "nothing," but I don't have any exciting stories from today or anything. Cool? Cool.

Now, you're probably wondering, "Well, if you don't have anything to say, what is this even about?" To be honest with you, the main reason I'm posting is this: this entry will be my 10th of the month, which breaks my previous record of.......whatever my previous record was. I think 9. But don't quote me on that. (Note: you can quote me on that. It's totally true. =D) And I also believe that I had that number in August. But don't quote me on that either. (Note: you can quote me on that as well. Totally truthful. =D)

So, mainly, I just posted this so I would have a month in which I had a double-digit number of blog entries.

Mission accomplished.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

No Man Will Stand For Things That He Had Done.

Well, I was going to write an introduction to this blog, but I frankly can't think of one. Whether that's bad or good, I do not know, but I'm just going to jump straight into this one.

So, I was reading my ex-girlfriend's blog, and quite frankly, I didn't know how to react to it. I feared the worst, so I read it, and thankfully it was absolutely nothing bad. In all honesty, it meant the world to me, and that's the best way I can think of to describe it. It seems like my only reaction was to cry. In fact, I did cry. Not tears of sadness, tears of joy, truly. It was a strange feeling.

I'll never forget all of our crazy times together. Meeting up at Homecoming last year. Our numerous times hanging out together. Writing notes to each other. Talking on the phone for hours on end about an endless stream of topics. Just little stuff like that, but they meant everything to me. I was going through a tough time in my life. I was at this crossroads of "where am I going?" I guess I felt different, or dare I say, weird. And then I met her. She has literally changed the way I think. She has impacted my life in a way that nobody else can, nor likely ever will. And again, I mean this in an absolutely positive light. I have never hated her, nor will I ever hate her. She meant the world to me, and she still does. In fact, she's one of my closest friends. If not my closest friend.

Sure, we broke up, but I'm not going to be a jerk and hate her for it. That's absolutely moronic. It's idiotic to hate someone who broke up with you, unless you've got an extremely good reason to. I have no reason to hate her. I still care about her, and I'll always be there for her, even if I'm not actually there in person. And..........there's so much I have to say, but I want to try and keep this as brief as possible. So, for now, I'll end this blog.

If you're reading this, I may not live nearby, but I'm always here for you. And I always will be.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

We Wanna Get Loaded, And Have A Good Time.

Hello there, world. To be honest with you, I'm heading to bed in a few. But before I do, I have something I'd like to say.

My birthday is in one week.

Ok, that's not all that I want to say, but it is a true fact. However, I'm realizing something. Right now, I'm extremely happy with where I am in my life, and I'm content with the way things are right now. Well, minus me not having a job, but beggars can't be choosers, now can we? Oddly enough, I want a job, because quite frankly, I would enjoy having money. Despite not having a job, I'm incredibly happy with where I am in life currently. It's been awhile since I could say that. I was starting to get incredibly bummed out because I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life, and I felt like I wasn't getting much accomplished or whatever. But now, I've finally got my driver's license, I'm doing super well in college, and everything that was stressing me out before has dissapated from my life, which I'm incredibly excited about. Like I said, it's been a long time since I could really say that, but I'm incredibly happy with where I am, and I can't wait to see where this road will take me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to catch some Zs.



Friday, October 23, 2009

You're Still Young, But Your Mind Has Grown Old, It Seems.

So, I've just been doing a large amount of thinking lately, which is never a good thing. As a good friend of mine stated, "overthinking leads to doubt, which you want to avoid." So yeah, overthinking is best avoided. However, when bored, and with nothing better to do, what else is there to do but think? At least for me. If I try to not worry, I end up overthinking and I start worrying about every damn single thing.

Take love for example. I used to always overthink when it comes to love, which is usually my downfall. When I like a girl, I begin to worry. I fear I'm not good enough, or that I'll lose the person that I'm with. Or that the person I'm with isn't who I should be with, or something like that. Something ridiculous of that sort. And when I'm was in relationships, I used to think I'd lose them, or that they'd find somebody better and leave me or..........all that stuff. Thankfully, I think I'm finally getting over that. Thank God. I guess, when it comes to love, I just haven't had tremendous luck. And because of my bad luck with relationships and love, I'm just kinda afraid of talking to girls. Which sounds very Junior High of me, I guess, but it's just the way I am.

So, sure, I like a couple of girls right now, but my confidence has been nearly shot down, so I'm scared as hell to go up to a girl that I like that I haven't talked to much and ask them to hang out or whatever. Thankfully, I'm getting over being so worrisome about myself and I'm beginning to realize that most girls won't judge me and will be nice, which sounds foolish and completely idiotic of me to begin realizing, but for somebody who hasn't had many relationships, it's huge for me. I'm realizing that the worst that can happen to me is that they'll say no. And if so, I just move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea, so I just have to.......keep fishing.



Thursday, October 22, 2009

Forgive Them Even If They Are Not Sorry.

Greetings. So, here on TOM (my creative acronym for Tales of Misfortune. Good, isn't it?), I've decided to discuss music. Recently, one of the bands I've grown to like, arguably as much as Pink Floyd or the Smashing Pumpkins, is the Strokes. The band somehow began to grow on me. They had a unique simple musical style, with great guitar lines, a tremendous rhythm section, and the unique, droning, and half-asleep-sounding vocals of Julian Casablancas. However, after their 2006 album First Impressions of Earth, they all decided to do their own thing. Albert Hammond Jr. went on a solo stint, which actually was pretty freaking good (check it out if you want to), Nikolai Fraiture started a solo project called Nickel Eye (get it?!), Fabrizio Moretti joined a band known as Little Joy, which I haven't heard much of, and Nick Valensi........well, is with his family. But what about Julian? What has he been doing? Sure, he's worked on a couple of songs, including this catchy song for a Converse commercial and a guest vocal on The Lonely Island ("I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman"), but he hasn't got his own musical thing going on, nor is he raising the family. So what is he doing?

He answers our question by preparing to release a solo album. Titled "Phrazes For The Young". In my homeland of the US, it comes out on November 3rd (I think), but I've heard two tracks from it, 11th Dimension and River of Brakelights. And both are really good. They're definitely different from the Strokes laid-back style of garage rock, and they're more electronic sounding, even. 11th Dimension is super catchy and has Julian singing the line that this blog is titled from, "forgive them, even if they are not sorry." River of Brakelights is a completely different animal. It's 5 minutes of the strangest sounding electronic music you'll likely ever hear.

However, don't take my word for it: listen for yourself.

Nonetheless, I am absolutely stoked for Julian's solo album, and will definitely be purchasing it ASAP.


Play This

heyzap.com - embed games

You're welcome.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Felt The Need To Share This.

So, I was scanning the internet, and I found this:


Basically, it's a contest for Photoshop. You had to Photoshop a picture of what the world would be like tomorrow if the internet was gone. And the pictures are some of the funniest things I've ever seen. Seriously. So, I felt the need to share this with all of you. Enjoy.


Sunday, October 18, 2009

We Smoke As We Shoot The Bird.

Greetings, world. So, I have a bit of an interesting story to tell. It's about me. Naturally. Hope you enjoy it.

Well, as most of you know, I recently got my driver's license. As most of you also know, I'm nearly 19 years old. In society, the stereotypical age to get your license is sixteen. Well, needless to say, I was a few years late on that. But you know the saying "better late than never"? Well, I lived that phrase.

A few years ago, I took Driver's Ed. You know, the class that everybody takes to get their permit so people will think they're legit? Yeah, that class. And, needless to say, I wasn't the greatest driver in the world when I started. But who is, really? So, I went through the 3 weeks of Driver's Ed, and I got a B on the class part, and a C- on driving. Yeah, I kinda sucked. But passing is passing, and that's how I roll.

So now, with my permit handy, I was ready to take on the world. I was prepared to get my license. So later that year, I took my driving test. For the first of four times. Obviously, I failed, hence why I took it 3 times after that. As for why, it oddly enough wasn't for parallel parking. Irony. Well, not really irony, but whatever. I failed for two reasons: the first was because I turned into the wrong lane while turning onto a one way street, and the second is difficult for me to explain simply, so I'll just say I failed and leave it at that. Nonetheless, I was bummed. But you know that at first if you don't succeed, then try again, right?

Well, I tried again a few times.

The second time, I was feeling pretty confident. I had everything down, and I felt ready to take on the world. I knew what I messed up last time, and I was determined to kick the driving test on it's ass. Plus I had a new person giving me the test this time, so I was confident as can be. Well, it's funny how confidence can cause you to fail! Which I did. I screwed up parallel parking. Go figure, right? So, yeah, I failed twice.

Onward to time three. This was nearly a year after I failed the second time, so I suppose you could say I've driven a lot since then. So, yeah, I was confident. I drove around virtually that entire morning, so I was feeling pretty confident. Well, thanks to one small screwup, I still didn't have my license. I went a little too fast in a school zone, and on that day, I apparently wasn't qualified to pilot a 1996 Chevrolet Blazer. So, I took my nearly-expired permit out of the BMV and made my walk of shame out to the car.

So, now on to time four. Which was conveniently scheduled 4 days before my permit expires. It's down to this: either get my license, or I have to wait 60/90/however many days to get my permit again, and then I have to go through all of this trouble again.

Well, I didn't screw up this time. Oddly enough, the lady giving the driving test didn't make me parallel park, which was dope. So, I just kinda casually drove around downtown, and made it back to the license branch, and she says "you did fine" and got out of the car. I was mind blown. I had to ask "so, I passed then?" and she was like "yep." So stoked.

So, that's the story of how I got my license. It took quite a long time, but as I said, "better late than never", eh?

Have a tremendous day.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Def Poetry Jam!

I shower you with praises
You leave me all alone
The world has fallen apart
But I still got my phone
I'm not surprised
Everything about life, they dispise
As they wipe the tears from their eyes
As they spend their lives slaving away

She wants me to fix her broken heart
But I'm too busy mending mine
I fear that picking up the pieces
Is too much responsibility

Dear, I've had a wonderous night
But this is not the one
You constantly insult my maturity
Baby girl, you're no fun

She wants me to fix her broken heart
All the thread is used on mine
Holding the fragile halves together
The tension ripping them apart

The sun rises from the cloud
Is that a tree suspended in the sky?
The children frolick through the flowers
As I feel as if I'm high

I don't need the sympathy of all your stupid friends
Just throw me in the fire and leave me be
In the past, we were the best of friends, a faded memory now
I don't care about conformity

She wants me to fix her broken heart
But I fear that I cannot
A job of that magnitude
Requires a better man than I

Another Long Delayed Blog.

Alright, so I've come to the conclusion that I am terrible at keeping a blog. I simply am horrendous at it. I haven't posted anything on here in a long time, but frankly, I have been busy living my life. And, boy, do I have stories! Well, not particularly interesting stories, but stories nonetheless. Should be interesting. I'll share these stories in the coming days and weeks in this blog. I'm busy currently with quite a bit of college homework, so whenever I get some free time, I will get on posting more blogs. And trust me, they will be more interesting than this one.

Keep the faith.


Thursday, September 17, 2009


(Note: this blog may not make sense to you if you aren't a fan of the Smashing Pumpkins. :P)

So, in all honesty, I haven't been a Pumpkins fan for very long. I only really became a fan when I heard Cherub Rock was going to be on Guitar Hero. Then I went out and bought Zeitgeist and their Greatest Hits (alright, I didn't buy them. They were given to me for Christmas). I fell in love with these guys (well, 3 guys and 1 girl). I'm not sure what drew me to them. Maybe it was their singer's weird voice. I'm not sure, but I was a fan instantly. And over the last two years, I've been a fan, going through their ups, such as releasing more new songs and a live DVD, which I bought, an their downs, such as their longtime drummer, Jimmy Chamberlin, leaving the band. Through all of the change and everything that's happened.

First off, I heard that they had hired a 19 year old drummer to replace my drumming idol, Mr. Chamberlin, and understandably, I was skeptical. However, Billy Corgan of the Pumpkins and new drummer, Mike Byrne, formed a tribute band for recently deceased Sky Saxon with numerous other musicians, called Spirits in the Sky, and I began to appreciate the drumming abilities of Mr. Byrne. Sure, he was no Jimmy frickin' Chamberlin, but he's still an insanely good drummer and I'm excited to hear what he has in store for the Pumpkins. Along with all of this news of a new band member for the Pumpkins, there was an announcement of a new album, and frankly, I was pumped. Then yesterday, more information about the new album came.

From SmashingPumpkins.com:

I'm happy to finally announce the plans for the new Smashing Pumpkins album.

Recording began yesterday, September 15th, 2009 on the new record which will be entitled 'Teargarden by Kaleidyscope'. The album will feature 44 songs, 4 of which are now being recorded. My desire is to release a song at a time beginning around Halloween of this year, with each new release coming shortly after until all 44 are out. Each song will be made available absolutely for free, to anyone anywhere. There will be no strings attached. Free will mean free, which means you won't have to sign up for anything, give an email address, or jump through a hoop. You will be able to go and take the song or songs as you wish, as many times as you wish.

We will however sell highly limited edition EP's (of 4 songs each times 11), and details of how those EP's will be made available are still being worked out. Because the songs themselves will be free, the EP's will be more like collectors items for the discerning fan who will want the art itself, along with the highest possible audio quality available. The EP's will be more like mini-box sets rather than your normal cd single. We may also offer other variations for sale, say for example a digital single with a demo version of a song. The commitment that is most important is the one I'm making to you: that the music of 'Teargarden by Kaleidyscope' will be available for free to everyone. All 44 songs: free for ALL.

When the entire album is finished, it will be compiled into a deluxe box set which will also be made available for sale. Those who have bought the EP's need not worry, as the box set will not be a recompilation of the limited edition pieces.

The story of the album is based on 'The Fool's Journey', as signified in the progress of the Tarot. It is my intention to approach this by breaking down the journey of our life here into four phases as made by these different characters; the Child, the Fool, the Skeptic, and the Mystic.

The music of 'Teargarden by Kaleidyscope' harkens back to the original psychedelic roots of The Smashing Pumpkins: atmospheric, melodic, heavy, and pretty.

I already have 53 songs written for the record, so I am quite confident that I already have much of the material that I would need to undertake such an extensive project. I am very committed to seeing this album through to its completion and very, very excited about the prospect of delivering new Smashing Pumpkins music to you in a unique and exciting way.

When I read that article yesterday, I was unbelievably pumped. Not only is my favorite band working on a new album, but they're releasing it for free on the internet. Fantastic! I may even buy this so called box set, if I have the money. Who knows? All I know is that I'm absolutely pumped about new Pumpkins music, and I can't wait until around Halloween, when the first songs are released.

All this being said, what a random ass album title: Teargarden by Kaleidyscope. What in the eff? Nonetheless, I'm still excited, and as long as the music's great, I don't mind.

After all, it is free.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Day of A High School Graduate.

So, yeah. Here's that blog I promised you about the day in the life of a high school graduate. :D

Around 2 or 3 in the morning, I decide that maybe I should consider going to sleep. Eventually I do go to bed, growing bored of the music I listen to. Pink Floyd, Smashing Pumpkins, the Strokes, Oasis, Joy Division, The Smiths, Death Cab, Coldplay, and Snow Patrol, along with any of the numerous other bands I listen to, I love you guys, but at 3:30 in the morning, I should be sleeping. Damn it.

So, after going to sleep around 3 in the morning, I wake up around noon. Every day. It never fails. I cannot wake up earlier than noon and I can't sleep later than a little after noon. It's a pretty scientific thing, I imagine. Anyways, I wake up and get on the computer before eventually deciding to take a shower. After my shower, I get dressed and proceed to get on the computer yet again. After a couple hours of computing, I have dinner with my family. Or food from a fast food place before I go to class. Whichever.

After food, I go to class, where I sit in a room full of strangers and learn about subjects such as Public Speaking and Sociology. Strange as it may sound, it's not that bad. When class ends (if I'm lucky it ends early), then I go back home and, yep. You guessed it: get back on the computer.

So, after blogging about my daily routine, I realize that damn! I am an incredibly boring. Hopefully this is more fun to read than it is for me to experience on a daily basis.


Are We Human or Are We Dancer?

Greetings again. Good to see you've returned. Hopefully. Or not. :( Whichever. I suppose if no one reads this, I'll just continue shouting into the wind and hope someone hears me. Terrible analogy. Anyways, what is this blog even about? As I said in the first post (remember that? :D), this blog really has no point. It's just a way for me to get out my thoughts on random subjects, and to vent about stuff that's been bothering me. Well, not necessarily "bothering" me, but stuff that's been on my mind and all that. So yeah, this blog's kinda pointless, really, to anybody but me and perhaps people who don't know me all that well. And even to people that do. Well, I guess that would include everybody. But whatever! Haha.

Anywho, also as stated earlier, I graduated high school in May of this year. It was fantastic. Most people wonder what the "life of a high school graduate" has in store. Do you have to carry your high school diploma everywhere? Do you move out the day of your open house? Can you cook Spaghetti O's in the oven? All of these questions are brought up when a student graduates high school. Well, not necessarily, but that's besides the point.

So, later tonight, I will post a blog about the "life of a high school graduate". Which is what I'm living. It'll be like a journal, so to speak, of my day overall. Should be fun. Hope you enjoy it.

Much love.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

TGI Friday's?

Well, I realize my last blog was kinda depressing and not that happy (which would be depressing, but whatever), so I figured that I would bring a more lighthearted and hopefully somewhat amusing blog to this site. Hope you enjoy it.

Now, you're probably wondering "what in the hell is up with the random title?" Well, it's not a random title, first of all. I actually will be discussing TGI Friday's in this blog. A rather trivial subject to discuss, indeed, but anyways, I digress.

This likely leads to your second question: "what about TGI Friday's?" Well, allow this article to explain, courtesy of RedOrbit.com:

CARROLLTON, Texas, Sept. 4 /PRNewswire/ -- T.G.I. Friday's restaurants, in a friendly bet with its self-proclaimed #1 fan, has agreed to let "Woody" give away either a Jack Daniel's(R) Burger or a Jack Daniel's(R) Chicken Sandwich to the first 500,000 people who become his fan on Facebook (www.facebook.com/fanwoody) prior to September 30, 2009 if he reaches the 500,000 fan mark. Fans must register with an email address in order to receive a coupon.

"With millions of T.G.I. Friday's fans, it's not easy to determine Friday's #1 Fan. Woody says he's the one and we're going to let him prove it," said Andrew Jordan, senior vice president of marketing for T.G.I. Friday's. "Every day, Woody finds a reason to celebrate. He makes life a party, which makes him a perfect fit for T.G.I. Friday's. He says he can get half a million Facebook fans in 30 days. We agreed to the Jack Daniel's giveaway when he does it," Jordan added. "Only Friday's has Woody and only Friday's has the famous Jack Daniel's Grill."

"T.G.I. Friday's was way cool even before they agreed to let me give away Jack Daniel's burgers and Jack Daniel's Chicken Sandwiches," said Woody. "But I need your help to win this bet. I need you to be my fan on Facebook. If you're one of the first half a million to be my Facebook fan, we'll celebrate together in mid-October with a free Jack Daniel's burger or a Jack Daniel's Chicken sandwich."

Sounds pretty simple, right? Just become a fan of this Woody fellow on Facebook, and you get a free sandwich. Well, it is simple! So, with me having Facebook, I decided to become a fan of this Woody gentleman.

This is where the story goes bad. Haha.

Not only do I find out he has already surpassed the half-million fans needed to give out free burgers, but I also find out you need to be 21 years old to obtain the coupon for the burger. FML, right?! Well, not really. After all, it's just a sandwich. A delicious, mouthwatering, Jackburger..........damn it! Well, it's no big deal. What in the hell is a Jackburger, anyways? Oh well, my luck, I suppose.

Apparently, the fan contest has been raised to a million fans who can get free burgers from TGI Friday's, so if you're interested and have Facebook, go to http://www.facebook.com/fanwoody. There, you can register for a burger! Or not, if you don't want. Or can't, like me.

Life sucks sometimes. :D


Random Thoughts For The Evening.

Alright, so lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not a good thing when it comes to me, I realize, but nonetheless, I've been thinking a lot. And there's something that's been bothering me a lot lately, and I don't know if anybody really reads this blog, but I feel I need to get this off of my chest, and this is really the only means for me to do so. So, here we go.

Ok, let's start out with a question. I'll try to explain this as well as I can, but here goes: have you ever been in a situation, and then that situation happened to you again, but only the roles in the situation were reversed? That probably wasn't a great explanation, but I'll try to explain better again.

Alright, a few years ago, I, quite frankly and honestly, met a girl who's been nothing but amazing to me. We don't have a ton in common, but I truly thought it was one of those situations where opposites attracted, and I took quite a bit of time to get to know her even. We became incredibly close and we hung out and talked on the phone or on the computer for hours on end. However, when the time came for me to actually ask her out, she said no. Now, I don't hate her and I consider her one of my closest friends, but at the time, it really hurt me. And to be honest, I still really like her. But I guess after so long of liking her and nothing happening between us relationship-wise, I've grown to accept that we won't be together, at least as boyfriend and girlfriend. But that was a huge learning experience for me, definitely.

Odd as it may seem, this situation is happening with me......again. Except the roles are reversed. I wonder if M. Night Shyamalan is directing my life, because this has been a huge frickin' twist.

Long story short, it's now me that's not interested in the relationship. Well, I wouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship, but...I don't know. There's this girl, who's pretty much everything I could want. She's sweet, funny, incredibly easy to talk to, and super trustworthy. However, for whatever reason, I have denied her the opportunity to date me. And, in all honesty, I'm not sure why.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I don't know. It makes sense to me, I guess. I'm kinda nervous about getting into a relationship to begin with, and the fact that there's a girl out there that really likes me that much is kinda scary to me, I guess. Frankly, I know I'm an imperfect person. I likely screw up on a constant basis, and sometimes, as self-depricating as this will probably sound, I honestly don't know what girls see in me. Well, maybe not to that extent, but I'm just super nervous about getting into a relationship, I suppose.

This blog hasn't really made much sense, I realize, and no offense is meant to the girls referred to in this blog, because I truly do love and care about them and I have no bad intentions with this blog. I realize there's no real solution to my situation, but I just felt the need to vent about things and as I said, I have a blog to do it in, so ha! :P But anyways, here's to better days, and thanks for reading.

Stay sweet.


Thursday, September 10, 2009


Alright, first off, I realize it's been nearly a month since I last blogged. Whatever. So, you're probably wondering (or likely not wondering) where I've been. Well, the answer is simple: I have been delving deep into the collegiate experience. Basically, I've been at college. Pretty wild, eh?

Now, I'd first like to state that this Asher Roth fellow who talks about loving college.............eh, well, college is nothing like Mr. Roth describes it. There is no partying, girls getting completely naked, and no asses being danced off. Simply put, it's pretty much like high school, minus the bullies and with longer classes. Fun, eh? Well, actually, it is pretty enjoyable.

I have four classes a week, all at night, and all on different nights, so it's fairly entertaining. Currently, I'm taking English on Monday, Math on Tuesday, Sociology on Wednesday, and Public Speaking on Thursday. English is actually pretty fun. Math is frankly, fairly boring, but when in the hell has Math ever been fun? People don't wake up and are like "I'm really bored. I'm going to do some math!" Sociology is pretty cool. It's the most laid back class pretty much ever. And I'm taking it with my mom, so that's interesting. Public Speaking is great as well. Everyone in there's super nice, the teacher's cool, and it's a fairly easy class (so far, I hate to jinx it. :P). The only thing is that I'm not a big fan of giving speeches, which you think I would enjoy if you knew me. But I'm just not a fan of speeches. But nonetheless, I digress. That rhymed. Unintentionally.

So, that's pretty much what I've been up to. I'm enjoying college so far, and hopefully it doesn't suck in the future. But that's all for now. Enjoy the weekend.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Boredom Blog

Hello there. Yeah, I'm sitting at home incredibly bored at the moment, so I'm blogging. How lame am I? Haha. But eh, it's whatever. Am I really the lame one though? Well, that's another discussion for another time.

Anyways, as I said, I'm at home. Not the most exciting place to be, but it's not horrendously boring, I guess. Also, it's storming right now. Or at least it was. I've never been the biggest fan of storms. They either take out my power and upset me or don't last very long and end up being incredibly inconsequential. There are a lot of people who are like "OMG like, I LOVE STORMS!!!!!!!! They're so pretty!" and all that, but yeah, not me. I'm just like "Damn lightning took out my power. Now I can't play Wii." Such is my life, I suppose.

The part I hate most of storms is tornadoes. Now, I've never experienced one in my life (shocking, really), but I've seen the film Twister enough times to know that I want nothing to do with one. Although it would be pretty amusing to me if I randomly saw a tornado pick up a cow and send it flying into the air. I don't know. I have a notoriously odd sense of humor though. It's just me. But I strongly dislike tornadoes.

This blog was incredibly pointless. But as I said, I'm bored and it's storming, so boredom + storm = a blog about being bored and storms. So here you are. Enjoy the storm.

It's a celebration.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Panic On The Streets Of Birmingham

Ok, this blog has nothing to do with panic, streets, or Birmingham. You caught me. You feel better? Alright good.

Well, this blog was a paper I created as a part of a bit of a competition between myself and my friend, Drew. We were bored last year in Graphic Design and decided to both create papers that basically did the best job at being incredibly repetitive.

I think my paper accomplished the task. I shall post Drew's paper later, but for now, I'll share mine with you.


Transcendence is all about transcending. When you are transcending, you are partaking in the action of transcendence. Transcendentalists often are the “transcending parties,” so to speak. If you partake in the act of transcending, you are a transcendentalist. Most transcendentalists believe that non-believers of transcendentalism are useless. According to transcendentalists, non-believers of transcendentalism have no use on Earth. In the transcendental world, non-transcendentalists have no use on this planet.
Anyways, I’ve said too much. Too much has been said by me. I have a tendency to get off topic. Hot Topic. Topics are often very topical. Topical islands in Jamaica. Wait, it’s tropical. That was a mistake. I messed up, so it was a mistake. If you make a mistake, you are doing something wrong. Doing something wrong often results in mistakes. Mistakes are caused by doing something wrong. Doing something wrong. Repeating yourself is a bad habit that isn’t easily cured. If you are repetitive, people may realize that you repeat yourself constantly. Repeating yourself can get exponentially repetitive. Repetition is extremely repetitive to people who may find, after much examination and studying, that you have a tendency to repeat yourself constantly. Constantine.
Look at sportsmen for a good example. A good example of this belief is sportsmen. Sportsmen present the present situation in a manner that makes for a good example of what I am trying to explain. When you partake in the act of playing sports, you are a sportsman. If someone plays sports, you can directly assume that they are a sportsman. Playing sports qualifies you for the category of sportsman. Sports, man. Sportsmen can also be called athletes. An alternative name for sportsmen is athletes. If a person is a sportsman, they may also be considered an athlete, though this is confusing to many. Too many.
By using logic in arguments, the chances of you being victorious in the argument you are arguing for or against increases. By increasing your chances of victory in the argument, you put yourself in a much better position to win arguments. Arguments are often won or lost by the usage of logical logic that logically will help you be logical in an argument. I’m sure that most people will agree with that logic, because if you don’t logically agree with my logic, then you are being illogical, which shows a lack of logical logic. Illogic is unacceptable, meaning it is not logical to use in an argument involving the usage of logic.

The Craziest Thing You'll Ever Read

The Palin-Hammond Reconstruction Union For The Reconstruction of Pompeii
An Examination of the Controversial Plan That’s Causing Controversy
By Jeremiah Jones (actually written by myself and my good friend Drew Osborne. Thanks Drew. :D)

“Leaving just in time, stay there for a while, rolling in the ocean, trying to catch her eye, work hard and say it’s easy, do it just to please me, tomorrow will be different, so I’ll pretend I’m leaving.” These are lyrics from The Strokes song “The Modern Age.” Although they really don’t apply to the situation, they are rather excellent and a very good example of the lyric-writing style of Mr. Julian Casablancas. Now, you’re probably asking yourself many questions at the moment, but we don’t care. The way to change things is not to bother answering petty questions: change is the result of action. Two people are putting this philosophy into action, and those two people are Alaska governor/hottie Sarah Palin and the rhythm guitarist from the Strokes, Albert Hammond Jr. What they’re doing, quite frankly, is revolutionary.
The story goes a little something like this: A volcano erupted and annihilated Pompeii, Italy in the 79 AD. Although since then, it has been found and rebuilt, the formally tortured city still needs our help. According to the insanely reliable resource known as Wikipedia, Pompeii still needs approximately $335 million for all of the necessary fixing-up. That’s why Mrs. Palin and Mr. Hammond Jr. are coming together, though many say it’s because they’re insanely rich and people will listen to them. Suffice it to say, they’re wrong. When asked about what they’re doing, Sarah Palin said, “I’m helping.” Albert Hammond Jr. said, “Me too,” and thus a union was formed.
Upon this formation, formaldehyde, cinder, and ash has been predicted to someday once again lay a beautiful place of Italian dwelling to total devastating waste. When Hitler took control of Italy, if he would have used Vesuvius as a weapon, he could have been even more successful, respected, and feared in his quest for territorial expansion and warfare ideologies in the process of nuclear, chemical, and biological destruction seeing as to how Mother Nature herself can be considered the greatest weapon of all. Unfortunately, his avarice took control of his actions leading to the demise of a powerful, political human being who with proper guidance and ideals could have inspired many followers into bettering the every day world of which we occupy.
This is why Albert Hammond Jr. and Sarah Palin have stepped up to the challenge. They realize the economic importance of reestablishing the once great attraction, and they have taken notice to the new sense of patriotism that could be installed by uniting to help a good cause, empowering them brick by brick to fulfill their true objective: New World Order.
To achieve this N.W.O. that is their ultimate goal, they will have to sacrifice a large amount of their time and money that they could be using to perform shows or hunt caribou. Despite this, Palin and Hammond Jr. are dedicated to the reconstruction of this formally magma-ridden metropolis. “I’m dedicated,” says Palin. “I’ll do it as long as there’s alcohol and cigarettes in it for me,” says the Strokes guitar virtuoso/science and technical enthusiast.
As stated earlier, Pompeii was once a fantastic tourist attraction. Unfortunately, when a super volcano erupts and covers a city in magma and molten lava, people tend to not want to visit anymore. Palin and Hammond Jr. are going to change that. Maybe not, but they’re sure as *expletive deleted* going to try. What is needed to help fix Pompeii is a whole lot of money, hard work, and people who care. Fortunately, Palin and Hammond Jr. have money. Now all that’s needed is people who care and hard work.
What Palin and Hammond Jr. (mainly Palin, because Hammond is busy smoking and sleeping with numerous promiscuous women that he does not have any emotional connection with, but mainly smoking) are proposing is really quite simple. They say that we should ditch the child labor laws. To put it in simpler terms, if you’re a child, you will be aiding in the reconstruction of Pompeii. There will be a child draft, so to speak, and if your name is chosen, then kiss (or hug, if kissing your parents is awkward) your parents goodbye. Oh, by the way, if you refuse to work and your name is called, then bad things will happen. What, we don’t know, but we are certain that something unfortunate will happen to you eventually. If so, you’ll know that karma is seeking it’s vengeance upon you.
Also to help in aiding the half beautiful establishment/half pumice-covered wasteland known as Pompeii, Palin and Hammond Jr. (but mainly Palin) propose placing a tax on all US citizens making less than 1 million dollars a year to help pay for “reconstruction fees,” as Palin commonly calls them. “We need money,” says the governor of Alaska. Hammond Jr. could not be reached for a comment. The tax is, according to the always-correct people on Fox News, expected to be approximately $5000.
Now, this may seem unreasonable and even unfair, and many are grabbing their pitchforks and thinking of starting a revolution against this, but…..you shouldn’t. Think of all of the Pompeiilians you are taking a beautiful city away from. According to Wikipedia (aka “The world’s most reliable resource known to man”) over 2 million people visited Pompeii last year. That’s like two groups of one million people. That’s insane. Just think about this for a second. Two million people. Where do you propose they tour at now? The Eiffel Tower? A coastline in Florida? Jamaica? Well, they are nothing compared to the wondrous wonder of Pompeii.
Palin and Hammond also believe that Mount Vesuvius’ rage being unleashed upon Pompeii, frankly, could have been avoided. “They could’ve sacrificed a couple of humans and the city would be fine,” says Sarah Palin. “Yeah,” says Hammond. So, to prevent this horrifying disaster from repeating itself, Mrs. Palin and Mr. Hammond Jr. are proposing that we sacrificed at least 15 people to the volcano. This seems rather cruel and unusual, but it is strongly recommended that the 15 people chosen to be “sacrificial lambs” should be people who are insane, dying, or generally not liked by many other people. Only once we sacrifice life will life be better for everybody else………..no, scratch that. Only once we sacrifice life CAN life be better for everyone else.
The most controversial part of this plan is that neither Hammond nor Palin is licensed to put this plan into place. Even once they have all of the necessities they need to prepare for the reconstruction of Pompeii, the plan will still have to go through the president and may be denied, but, according to Palin, it’s worth the risk. “It’s worth the risk,” says Palin. “We could fail, or we could succeed,” states Hammond Jr. The biggest thing going for Palin and Hammond Jr. is the fact that both of them have exponential amounts of money, and most people with a brain inside of their skulls trust and respect them at least a little bit. By using this money, as well as money from American taxpayers and other celebrities, Pompeii could be back in full working order by 2020. All that’s needed is the support of the President, which, as we all know, is easier said than done.
With incoming president Barack Obama entering the White House, it is unknown if Palin and Hammond Jr.’s plan will fall into place. During this election season, Palin and Obama did not exactly get along very well. Obama described Palin as a “senseless harlot” and Palin was heard calling Obama a “stupidhead.” It is unknown what Obama thinks of Hammond, but there are reports that Obama was heard blasting “Reptilia” from his private jet after finding out he was victorious in the 2008 election. Hammond has shown large amounts of rage because of his unrecognizing as the “guitarist with the most raw power” in the Strokes, but this has not affected his relationship with fellow bandmates.
Pompeii is truly beautiful city and it would be completely shameful if it were not restored to it’s original non-volcano destroyed state from 79 AD, and, despite Palin’s struggle with the English language and Hammond’s alcohol and smoking habits, the two have only one ultimate goal: reconstructing Pompeii. “We have one goal: reconstruction Pompeii,” Palin was overheard stating to her husband, who may or may not be a figment of Palin’s imagination. “I’m just here because I like to party,” says Hammond.
Who knows though? Maybe Palin and Hammond Jr.’s plan will succeed. Or perhaps it will fail. Both are incredibly optional options that could very likely occur. However, Sarah Palin is currently hunting caribou with her family and supposedly estranged husband, while Albert Hammond Jr. is busy helping record the Strokes’ 4th album. And smoking. When this alliance is reformed, though, you can expect events to occur. And things to happen.

The Introduction To The Craziest Thing You'll Ever Read

Alright, so I'm bored right now, and I've kinda been going through a bunch of old things I have saved on my flash drive from my Graphic Design class last year, and one thing caught my eye. Allow me to explain.

One day, out of boredom in my Graphic Design class, I decided to mess around in Photoshop. Little did I know that the picture I made would form the basis for a nearly 1500 word essay. What I did was created a random jumble of pictures. A smorgasbord, if you will. In this random photo collage I made on Photoshop, was pictures of Sarah Palin, The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr., and a photo of the city of Pompeii, Italy.

For those of you who don't know, Pompeii is a very interesting city for me. It was destroyed by a volcano in the year 79 AD. When I say "destroyed", I mean it literally was destroyed. It was covered in ash and cinder for hundreds of years, until it was discovered by accident (I forget when and by whom. Look it up online if you really want to know. This ain't Wikipedia. :p) But basically, I've always been interested in Pompeii, because it's a city that was destroyed nearly 2000 years ago, and it's still not completely been fixed back to normal. So that interested me.

The insanity of this idea was created out of a ridiculous Photoshop project I explained two paragraphs earlier. I came up with a crazy idea: "What if Sarah Palin and Albert Hammond Jr. started a project to help reconstruct the city of Pompeii?" It started out as kind of a parody of charity foundations founded by celebrities, I guess, and it evolved into this full-blown paper. It was crazy.

My original idea was to make this "Reconstruction Plan" roughly as long as the printed copy of the Bailout Plan. I quickly realized this would be a difficult task. So basically, my insanity and my imagination created a union between a former Vice Presidential candidate and a guitarist in a band leading the garage rock revival. The two would team up to help fix the city of Pompeii, Italy.

If you think that I'm crazy, don't be alarmed. It only shows the fact you're still sane. :D


Poetry Time!!!!

Here's some lyrics I wrote. Well, I guess without, you know, music to back it up, it's technically a "poem". But I don't know. Lyrics sound cooler. And I can't think of anything to post at the moment, so I'm posting these lyrics..........ahem........this poem. So yeah, enjoy it. Or don't. Whatevs. :D

The San Francisco Bay

The sun sets over San Francisco Bay
I wonder what I’ll learn today
And these thoughts I have, I must confess
A world in trouble is a world nonetheless

I’ve taken all the tests and written all the notes
Could I eventually see this is all a joke?
Winter shakes me, the sun’s a small relief
From all the devastation, and all the thieves

The sun sets over San Francisco Bay
I wonder the lessons I will learn today
And since you left me, these thoughts I must confess,
A heart that’s been broken, is a heart nonetheless

I don’t know why I expected you to change
You may act different now, but your attitude’s the same
Would like to see me fly like a wingless dove?
The torture and the pain of unrequited love

The sun has set tonight over San Francisco Bay
I find myself befuddled, can’t find the words to say
Without you here I have no life, I must confess
A life without you in it is a life nonetheless

My First Blog In........HOW LONG!??!

Well, wow. I realize I haven't posted a blog in forever. I apologize for this. I've been busy actually.......I don't know. Just doing random stuff I guess. Nothing too exciting. Living life, getting ready for college. Fun stuff like that, I suppose. But yeah, I'm back to posting on this blog now. Remember that blog about having a lack of things to blog about? Yeah, that's pretty much where I am now. So I'm trying to find stuff to blog about. It's a strenuous task when you don't have much of an exciting life. But I'll find something to blog about, I'm sure. Should be fun. Just enjoy the ride.

We're almost there, kids. :p


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Poetry = Result of Boredom.

Just some stuff I've written out of boredom. Hope they don't suck. ;D

The first thing I wrote, was my attempt to come up with a bunch of random lines that had the last word of them rhyme with "pass". That kinda failed, but it's still interesting. Haha. Enjoy.


Everything will come to pass,

Nothing in our lives will ever last,

We can’t change the past,

Everything will come to pass.

Friends grow up too fast,

The outcast of the senior class,

Looking through the glass,

Everything will come to pass.

Nice guys finish last,

Constantly harassed,

Nobody has any class,

But everything will come to pass.

Survivors of the blast,

No recollection of the past,

Every passing glance, means nothing, because

Everything will come to pass.

Everything will come to pass.

Everything will come to pass.

The next poem I wrote, ironically titled "I Can't Sleep" was written on a night when I (you guessed it!) couldn't sleep. I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you are too.


Nevermind, just check it out!


Sleep is coming soon,

As I lay in bed, the calendar reads “June”,

The way things used to be,

All my memories are scattered on the floor

Pictures, and hopes and dreams,

Have fallen apart, it seems,

The moonlight nearly wakes the dead,

And I cannot seem to go to bed

It’s past the midnight hour, it appears that I can’t sleep,

Tired of concealing all the secrets that I keep,

No matter how mundane, or pointless they appear,

My mind is always telling me that I cannot rest here

‘Cause I can’t sleep

Insomnia’s so cruel to me,

You know, you reap all that you sow,

Karma’s never been my friend,

Why? I do not know,

The dripping of the faucet

Sounds like the dropping of grenades,

Destroying everything I knew,

As the shadows play charades

It’s past the midnight hour, it appears that I can’t sleep,

Tired of concealing all the secrets that I keep,

No matter how mundane, or pointless it appears,

My mind is always telling me that I cannot rest here

‘Cause I can’t sleep

The sandman’s calling for me,

But I cannot reply,

The bed is like a prison cell,

Awaiting my goodbye

It’s past the midnight hour, it appears that I can’t sleep,

Tired of concealing all the secrets that I keep,

No matter how mundane, or pointless they appear,

My mind is always telling me that I cannot rest here

Love: It's Who You Know

Maybe it's the fact that I'm in a bit of an introspective mood, but I'm going to blog again. Haha. Remember how I was complaining about not having anything to blog about.

Yeah, not the case anymore.

So, most of you who know me know that I was recently broken up with. Now, there are numerous ways I could handle being broken up with. I could lie and tell people how horrible she was and how I don't care anymore about her. I could just ignore her. Or I could just be like "please, come back to me." I did none of those things.

I find myself in an odd situation, because frankly, I still really like her. Alot. And I probably will for a while. But I don't hate her or anything like that, and I've accepted that both of us are moving on and going different places in life, and I'm fine with that. We still talk from time to time, which is nice. I'm not going to go around and be like "Oh, my heart was broken. Woe is me." or "She's missing out on all this goodness" or whatever guys say after a girl breaks up with them. No, that's not my style. I'm just taking it in stride. A bit of a melancholy stride, but a stride nonetheless.

Do I miss her? At times, yeah, I do. But what do you do? In some situations, you gotta move on, and that's what I'm doing.

Soldier on.


How Does It Feel?

So, this will probably be the most personal blog you'll ever read from me. I just feel I have a few things to get off my chest.

These days, I feel I've hit a bit of a midlife crisis, which is bad because I'm 18. Haha. But anymore, I find myself in an odd situation. I feel like I have no direction in my life, I suppose. No real motivation to do much of anything, quite frankly. I feel like I'm living my life on repeat. I don't do anything different, I don't do anything to stand out. I just fear I'm becoming a cliche of society, and I don't want that at all. I fear that once I do get a job and all of that, I'll become just another person that just kinda existed, you know? But, I don't know. I'm trying my best to get over this stupid personal exile of mine and attempt to live my life as much as possible. It's working to an extent, but still, I hate staying at home, because I feel as if I'm accomplishing nothing. Which I also hate. That's double the hatred. Haha.

Now, I'm not suicidal or anything of that sort, and I don't hate myself or my life. I just kinda........you know, I don't know. I just want to get out and live life instead of just sitting on my ass and not doing anything productive. I want to make an impact on somebody's life. Even if it's only one person. I want to be something. I don't want to be an average joe. I want to be somebody.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Beginning of Tales Of Misfortune

Greetings, everybody. So, for those of you who don't know, I've been working on....well, what I can best describe as a "soap opera parody" known as Tales of Misfortune, which is what I chose to name this blog. And, well, it's far from complete. Haha. But I figured I would share the first part of the script with you. So hopefully it doesn't suck.


Tales of Misfortune!!!
Part One: The Only Thing Better Than a Fish Is A School of Fish

Scene: Ron decides to talk to his father, Steven, about a problem. Flashback!!!

Ron: Hey dad.
Steven: Who the he*% are you?
R: Your son, Ron. You know, the kid who came out of YOUR WIFE!!!
S: Oh, I remember. Here’s 10 dollars for staying out of sight. *hands over money*
R: Well, I appreciate it, dad, but I don’t want your money.
S: And they call me the alcoholic.
R: You know, this is why I don’t ever talk to you! All you care about is beer and women!
S: Now son, that statement is about 73% true. I also care about the starving children in Macedonia and NASCAR.
R: Ok, whatever dude. So, can I talk to you or what?
S: Well, all you had to do was ask! Grab a beer and sit down.
R: Dad, I’m 7.
S: It’s never too early to try something new, Ronnie! Now, what’s the dilly-o?
R: Dad, you’re not a gangster. You work on a farm. You drive a tractor everywhere. Our yard is covered in vegetables!!!
S: Always have to criticize me, don’tcha, kid?!
R: OK, FINE!!!! I’m sorry. Anyways, there’s this kid at school who always picks on me and bullies me around.
S: *cuts him off* Shoot him.
R: Dad!
S: Oh, come on! Like you weren’t thinking the same thing! You see, when I was your age, I had a bullying problem too. This jerkoff wouldn’t quit picking on me! It was always “Stevie likes dudes!” or “Stevie has a mental illness!” or even the simple “Stevie’s a douchebag!” Eventually, he got on my last nerve.
R: What did you do, pops?
S: Well, it’s more like what I didn’t do. The next day, conveniently enough, a lion got out of the zoo. Went right to the kid’s door and mauled him. Honestly, it was pretty disturbing, but he never bothered me anymore.
R: *silence*
S: Yeah….but, hey! I’m sure things will work themselves out! Just stay strong and don’t commit any felonies. You don’t to end up like your old man, do you?
R: F*$% NO!
S: That’s my boy. It’s like my brother Curtis always said: “I’ll take the breathalyzer test if you can hold my beer.” Well, “said.” Human spontaneous combustion took him away.
R: Um…….ok? Thanks.
S: Anytime, soul brother! Catch you on the flip side!
R: Ok, whatever. Bye. *leaves*

TO NOW!!!!

R: Why can’t I have a normal family?
?: *enters* You can have anything you want, kid?
R: Who are you?
?: Well, everyone just calls me…………The Boss.
R: That’s dumb.
The Boss: It’s not dumb. It’s a title of respect and power!
R: No, it’s dumb.
TB: Ok, why is it dumb?
R: I don’t know. It’s just dumb.
TB: Whatever. Anyways, I’m the leader of a secret clan, if you will, of many important people known as the Bottle-Nosed Dolphin Organization.
R: Uh……..it’s really not secret, since you just kinda told me about it.
R: I did.
TB: SHUT UP! This is exactly why I didn’t have children. If you’re the future, then humanity’s history. *drum fill after a joke*
R: Wow. Where’d you get the drums?
TB: With money, you blasted fool! You can have it too, if you join the BNDO.
R: What’s that?
TB: *smacks forehead* A secret organization. You want in or not?
R: I don’t know. I don’t like being put on the spot like this.
TB: Fair enough. Just remember, we’re not that far away. *evil laugh and exit*
R: Wow. Creepy.


*bell rings*
Drew: Dude. We better get to steppin’, man. If I’m tardy, that’ll be my 5th tardy today.
Chris: It’s lunch. No one’s gonna care if we’re late.
Nathan: I’m hungry. Let’s just go.
Justin: Not now, Nate. We got to find Ronnie!
Tyler. Yeah, I need to “check” his homework for Science.
Andrew: Wow, when you say it like that, it’s not obvious. *sarcasm*
Ron: *enters* Hey guys.
All: RONNIE!!!!
R: Hey, I got to ask you guys something. You guys hear about a “Bottle-Nosed Dolphin Organization?
Justin: F&%$ no, man.
Drew: You know, I think I read about it once……
All: IN A BOOK!!!! *group high five*
Ron: Wow. That was productive. *sarcasm*
Chris: That’s what she said! *group laughter*
Ron: Ok. Screw it. I’m outta here. *leaves*


Teacher: ….and that’s why the Union won the Civil War.
Kevin: DONUTS!!!!
Teacher: No, not because of donuts, Kevin. Though they are delicious. *laughs*
Teacher: Ahem. Anyways, read Chapter 10 for tonight. *leaves*
Jeff Danger: *stands on desk* Look. I can fly! *falls on floor*
*class laughter*
Ron: *stares at Tangela while a montage of her uber hotness plays in his mind*
Tangela: Ron……..Ron……..RON!!!!
Ron: *snaps out of dream* AH! Oh, hey Tangela.
Tangela: Um…….I noticed you were staring at me.
Ron. Oh…….well, um………I wasn’t.
Tangela: Ok then. Well, what were you staring at?
Ron. Well, you see Tangela, I saw the Yeti outside the window, and I thought it would be extremely important for me to catch a glimpse of it.
Yeti: Hey, this is your problem, man. *leaves*
*bell rings*
Tangela: Well, hey Ron. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.
Ron: Alright, bye Tangela. *long pause* I love you.
Tangela: What was that?
Ron: Oh, um…..I said, I…..loathe you.
Tangela: Really?
Ron: Yeah. Go jump off a cliff.
Tangela: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON!!!!!! *runs away crying*
Jeff Danger: Wowzer, my brother. That was 35 kinds of EXTREME!!!!
Ron: Not now Jeff. I’m really not in the mood.
Kevin: GIZMO!!!!
Ron: *punches Kevin* Let’s just go. *leaves*


Ron: Jeremiah!!!!
Jeremiah: Ron!!!!
*secret handshake*
J: What’s up, dude?
R: Not a whole lot, man. Just got done with History class. Getting ready to head home.
J: Sweet, sweet. I like that. I’m getting ready to do the same, man.
R: Wait, you don’t have a car do you?
J: Naw. My family doesn’t like vehicles. Or electricity, for that matter. It’s really weird.
R: Yeah, that sucks, dude. Electricity is great, man. You know what runs off electricity? Blenders. Microwaves. Egg beaters!
J: Ron, you realize everything that you’re referring to is kitchen appliances, right?
R: Shut up. My point is that you need to get electricity!
J: I can’t.
R: Why not?
J: Because, I just can’t ok?! Leave me alone!
R: What has gotten into you?
J: I don’t know anymore. *leaves*

Ron: *narrating* I wasn’t sure what to think about anything. The girl I loved rejected me, my best friend hated me, I received an offer to join a secret organization I knew nothing about, and none of my other friends understood me. I was in a no-win situation, seemingly. My life seemingly started spiraling out of control. But I didn’t realize things could get worse. Much worse.

More to be added later.

Much love.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

At School?

Ok, so about 10 seconds ago, I blogged about not being able to think of anything to blog about.

I have found something. Boom!

So, for those of you who know me (and the vast majority of you who are reading this do, if not all of you), I graduated from my high school, Northfield, in May of this year. My Senior year was, quite frankly, amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better year, really. Everything went as well as it could have, and I won't forget it any time soon. However, I've been sort of facing this silly debate, if you will. Even before I graduated, I was wondering to myself, "Should I stop by my old high school occasionally to see everybody?" Because oddly enough, the vast majority of my friends are younger than me. For a period of time, I was undecided on whether I would do so or not.

On one end, I would get to see a lot of my friends, which is cool. On the other end, I have no reason to go back, really. I could see most of my friends whenever I wanted to, and the diploma I received represents the fact that I'm freed from the so-called prison known as high school. It'd be kinda like a convict who just got released from prison deciding to go back and visit his former prison. Makes no sense, right?

So, I've reached this conclusion: if I want to see my friends, I can see them pretty much anytime I want to. There's no need for me to return to my high school. I don't know most of the people there and I have no desire to go back to my former establishment of learning. I'm not about the past, I'm about the future.

Reach for the stars.



Greetings, children. Welcome back. I realize that I haven't blogged in a couple of days, and frankly, I don't care. I'm okay with that. It's whatever. I'm not that attached to my blog that I feel the need to blog every single day. Amirite?

In reality, the main problem I've found in making this blog is that it's hard to think of things to blog about, in all honesty. No motivation, if you will. Nothing I feel the need to share with the world of cyberspace, at least that I can think of off of the top of my head. As one of my favorite bands, Oasis, once said, "I can't get a life if my heart's not in it." That quote really doesn't apply here, but that's besides the point.

Who knows, really? Maybe something will happen so mind-boggling, so eventful, and so monumental that I'll feel the need to share my opinion on it with all of you.

Look at me. Saying "all of you," like I'm some famous blogger or somethin'.

Anyways, I hope that I'll find something interesting to me for me to blog about. After all, I just blogged about not being able to blog.

Like Kevin Garnett, "anything is possible!"



Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Lexicon of Love

As I type this blog, I realize that love is a rather difficult topic to discuss. Frankly, it's nearly impossible. Love has been compared to everything from a battlefield to a journey to suicide. Yeah, love's quite complicated. It's hard to explain. The simple answer to questions involving love is "when you're in love, you'll know it." And, to some extent, that's pretty true. When you love somebody, you'll know it. It just happens.

Frankly, I haven't had the greatest luck with that. I don't have a girl to give me "that little wink every now and then," as Bowflex's Brian Alvarez has. Asshole.

It seems in recent cases with love, I either A) Screw it up in some spectacular fashion, B) have feelings for a girl that they do not have, or C) The girl has feelings for me that I don't have for them. Not to say that all of the girls I've liked are horrible. I've liked some great girls and dated some great girls, but as I sit here as a single man, I think about all of my previous encounters with love, and some have been like watching The Notebook. Others have been like the extra features on a DVD of Blind Date's 1st season.

But, as Rascal Flatts said, "others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars."

Rascal Flatts sucks.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Follow Me To Freedom!

Ok, I'm going to be absolutely upfront here: at first, I thought that Twitter was a horrendous idea. I didn't see any redeeming qualities about it in any way, shape, or form. It pretty much seemed like Myspace, minus everything that makes Myspace redeemable. And all that's left is status updates. Reluctantly, I chose to become a member of the Twitter revolution. Mainly because of the fact I thought it was ridiculous and would be fun to do as a joke.

Then, my life got flipped, turned upside down.

I made a couple of ridiculous "tweets," as I learned a status update on Twitter is referred to, and then all of a sudden, a few of my buddies got Twitter accounts, and the fun began. Then, my good friend Drew told me the best part about Twitter: you can update with text messaging.

My mind was blown.

Not that it mattered to me, considering I don't have a phone, but still, it was pretty cool.

So now, Twitter is one of my freakishly most visited webpages. Funny how things work out, eh? I guess there's this perverse joy to be gotten from following celebrities or something. Because Twitter has gotten pretty popular. Haha. In all honesty, who cares that Tila Tequila is ironing a shirt of hers at 5:54 in the morning?

Me, that's who.


Strength Training With A Bowflex Home Gym

Ok, this blog is going to get incredibly interesting, methinks. I'd like to take a moment of your time to discuss the Bowflex home gym.

Now, as a.......erm, "larger" male, it seems like I see a substantial amount of commercials talking about diet pills, Jenny Craig, home gyms, work out videos, or some odd combination of any of the 4 previously mentioned topics. However, the commercials that seem to chap my ass (pardon my language) are the commercials for the Bowflex home gym. Well, in particular, one commercial.

For those who don't know, the man's name is Brian Alvarez. And well, I'll just allow this video here to explain why this guy is quite a douche. Around 1:44 is the quote that makes him famous (or infamous, in this case):

So, you gave all of your clothes to your fat friends, eh? Huh. Honestly, I'm not offended or anything by that quote. In fact, it's kinda funny, really. But the fact that Bowflex would even allow that quote to make a commercial of theirs also makes them look pretty dickish as well, doesn't it? Also, there's another quote in there where he's like "my wife gives me that little wink every now and then...." and that damn laugh he does afterwards makes me just want to deliver a fist right to his suckhole. Ok, maybe not. Haha. But it is kinda smug and makes him look like an enormous douche.

If only he were modest like Michael Polinko:

I don't know. Maybe I'm just bitter because girls don't give me that little wink. Or maybe I'm bitter because the man gave me a t-shirt recently. Whatever. Rant over. :D


The First Blog!

So, this is my first blog on here. Not really sure what to do here. Not gonna lie. I know that I'm supposed to share my thoughts on a random subject of my choosing, and people read it (hopefully). But, as for what I'm supposed to say, I'm at a loss.

I shall resort to rambling.

There are many things that I don't quite understand about just......I don't know. Life in general. But life is a highway, and I wanna drive it all night long. Ok, I stole that from a song. But to paraphrase a quote from Lincoln Osiris in Tropic Thunder, just 'cuz it's song lyrics don't mean it ain't true.

This blog is not going to have any set topic. At all. Ok? Mmmmkay. It's pretty much a place for me to share my thoughts on life in general. No topic is off limits for me. Because I am effing crazy. Maybe not, but regardless, this is a blog that could potential either bore you to tears, or amuse you to death. Consider my blog like a train, and you, the readers, are the passengers. Except this is a free train ride, and you aren't gonna NOT take a free train ride, are ya?! Exactly.

This blog really serves no purpose, except to just introduce you to the way my mind works, if you will. So, grab your tickets and lets ride this train. In a purely nonsexual way, of course.


Stay sweet.