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Back in 1974, corruption and lies were running rampant in the streets. To put an end to this corruption, one man was put in charge of the team that was given this job. That man is of no relation to me.

Mission Statement

Greetings, and welcome to my blog. I am the main person who operates this blog. Ok, I'm the only person who operates this blog. But I was trying to sound professional. Anyways, this blog's really about nothing. Just my thoughts on whatever comes to my mind. Hope it doesn't suck. Haha.

Peace and love.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Boredom Blog

Hello there. Yeah, I'm sitting at home incredibly bored at the moment, so I'm blogging. How lame am I? Haha. But eh, it's whatever. Am I really the lame one though? Well, that's another discussion for another time.

Anyways, as I said, I'm at home. Not the most exciting place to be, but it's not horrendously boring, I guess. Also, it's storming right now. Or at least it was. I've never been the biggest fan of storms. They either take out my power and upset me or don't last very long and end up being incredibly inconsequential. There are a lot of people who are like "OMG like, I LOVE STORMS!!!!!!!! They're so pretty!" and all that, but yeah, not me. I'm just like "Damn lightning took out my power. Now I can't play Wii." Such is my life, I suppose.

The part I hate most of storms is tornadoes. Now, I've never experienced one in my life (shocking, really), but I've seen the film Twister enough times to know that I want nothing to do with one. Although it would be pretty amusing to me if I randomly saw a tornado pick up a cow and send it flying into the air. I don't know. I have a notoriously odd sense of humor though. It's just me. But I strongly dislike tornadoes.

This blog was incredibly pointless. But as I said, I'm bored and it's storming, so boredom + storm = a blog about being bored and storms. So here you are. Enjoy the storm.

It's a celebration.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Panic On The Streets Of Birmingham

Ok, this blog has nothing to do with panic, streets, or Birmingham. You caught me. You feel better? Alright good.

Well, this blog was a paper I created as a part of a bit of a competition between myself and my friend, Drew. We were bored last year in Graphic Design and decided to both create papers that basically did the best job at being incredibly repetitive.

I think my paper accomplished the task. I shall post Drew's paper later, but for now, I'll share mine with you.


Transcendence is all about transcending. When you are transcending, you are partaking in the action of transcendence. Transcendentalists often are the “transcending parties,” so to speak. If you partake in the act of transcending, you are a transcendentalist. Most transcendentalists believe that non-believers of transcendentalism are useless. According to transcendentalists, non-believers of transcendentalism have no use on Earth. In the transcendental world, non-transcendentalists have no use on this planet.
Anyways, I’ve said too much. Too much has been said by me. I have a tendency to get off topic. Hot Topic. Topics are often very topical. Topical islands in Jamaica. Wait, it’s tropical. That was a mistake. I messed up, so it was a mistake. If you make a mistake, you are doing something wrong. Doing something wrong often results in mistakes. Mistakes are caused by doing something wrong. Doing something wrong. Repeating yourself is a bad habit that isn’t easily cured. If you are repetitive, people may realize that you repeat yourself constantly. Repeating yourself can get exponentially repetitive. Repetition is extremely repetitive to people who may find, after much examination and studying, that you have a tendency to repeat yourself constantly. Constantine.
Look at sportsmen for a good example. A good example of this belief is sportsmen. Sportsmen present the present situation in a manner that makes for a good example of what I am trying to explain. When you partake in the act of playing sports, you are a sportsman. If someone plays sports, you can directly assume that they are a sportsman. Playing sports qualifies you for the category of sportsman. Sports, man. Sportsmen can also be called athletes. An alternative name for sportsmen is athletes. If a person is a sportsman, they may also be considered an athlete, though this is confusing to many. Too many.
By using logic in arguments, the chances of you being victorious in the argument you are arguing for or against increases. By increasing your chances of victory in the argument, you put yourself in a much better position to win arguments. Arguments are often won or lost by the usage of logical logic that logically will help you be logical in an argument. I’m sure that most people will agree with that logic, because if you don’t logically agree with my logic, then you are being illogical, which shows a lack of logical logic. Illogic is unacceptable, meaning it is not logical to use in an argument involving the usage of logic.

The Craziest Thing You'll Ever Read

The Palin-Hammond Reconstruction Union For The Reconstruction of Pompeii
An Examination of the Controversial Plan That’s Causing Controversy
By Jeremiah Jones (actually written by myself and my good friend Drew Osborne. Thanks Drew. :D)

“Leaving just in time, stay there for a while, rolling in the ocean, trying to catch her eye, work hard and say it’s easy, do it just to please me, tomorrow will be different, so I’ll pretend I’m leaving.” These are lyrics from The Strokes song “The Modern Age.” Although they really don’t apply to the situation, they are rather excellent and a very good example of the lyric-writing style of Mr. Julian Casablancas. Now, you’re probably asking yourself many questions at the moment, but we don’t care. The way to change things is not to bother answering petty questions: change is the result of action. Two people are putting this philosophy into action, and those two people are Alaska governor/hottie Sarah Palin and the rhythm guitarist from the Strokes, Albert Hammond Jr. What they’re doing, quite frankly, is revolutionary.
The story goes a little something like this: A volcano erupted and annihilated Pompeii, Italy in the 79 AD. Although since then, it has been found and rebuilt, the formally tortured city still needs our help. According to the insanely reliable resource known as Wikipedia, Pompeii still needs approximately $335 million for all of the necessary fixing-up. That’s why Mrs. Palin and Mr. Hammond Jr. are coming together, though many say it’s because they’re insanely rich and people will listen to them. Suffice it to say, they’re wrong. When asked about what they’re doing, Sarah Palin said, “I’m helping.” Albert Hammond Jr. said, “Me too,” and thus a union was formed.
Upon this formation, formaldehyde, cinder, and ash has been predicted to someday once again lay a beautiful place of Italian dwelling to total devastating waste. When Hitler took control of Italy, if he would have used Vesuvius as a weapon, he could have been even more successful, respected, and feared in his quest for territorial expansion and warfare ideologies in the process of nuclear, chemical, and biological destruction seeing as to how Mother Nature herself can be considered the greatest weapon of all. Unfortunately, his avarice took control of his actions leading to the demise of a powerful, political human being who with proper guidance and ideals could have inspired many followers into bettering the every day world of which we occupy.
This is why Albert Hammond Jr. and Sarah Palin have stepped up to the challenge. They realize the economic importance of reestablishing the once great attraction, and they have taken notice to the new sense of patriotism that could be installed by uniting to help a good cause, empowering them brick by brick to fulfill their true objective: New World Order.
To achieve this N.W.O. that is their ultimate goal, they will have to sacrifice a large amount of their time and money that they could be using to perform shows or hunt caribou. Despite this, Palin and Hammond Jr. are dedicated to the reconstruction of this formally magma-ridden metropolis. “I’m dedicated,” says Palin. “I’ll do it as long as there’s alcohol and cigarettes in it for me,” says the Strokes guitar virtuoso/science and technical enthusiast.
As stated earlier, Pompeii was once a fantastic tourist attraction. Unfortunately, when a super volcano erupts and covers a city in magma and molten lava, people tend to not want to visit anymore. Palin and Hammond Jr. are going to change that. Maybe not, but they’re sure as *expletive deleted* going to try. What is needed to help fix Pompeii is a whole lot of money, hard work, and people who care. Fortunately, Palin and Hammond Jr. have money. Now all that’s needed is people who care and hard work.
What Palin and Hammond Jr. (mainly Palin, because Hammond is busy smoking and sleeping with numerous promiscuous women that he does not have any emotional connection with, but mainly smoking) are proposing is really quite simple. They say that we should ditch the child labor laws. To put it in simpler terms, if you’re a child, you will be aiding in the reconstruction of Pompeii. There will be a child draft, so to speak, and if your name is chosen, then kiss (or hug, if kissing your parents is awkward) your parents goodbye. Oh, by the way, if you refuse to work and your name is called, then bad things will happen. What, we don’t know, but we are certain that something unfortunate will happen to you eventually. If so, you’ll know that karma is seeking it’s vengeance upon you.
Also to help in aiding the half beautiful establishment/half pumice-covered wasteland known as Pompeii, Palin and Hammond Jr. (but mainly Palin) propose placing a tax on all US citizens making less than 1 million dollars a year to help pay for “reconstruction fees,” as Palin commonly calls them. “We need money,” says the governor of Alaska. Hammond Jr. could not be reached for a comment. The tax is, according to the always-correct people on Fox News, expected to be approximately $5000.
Now, this may seem unreasonable and even unfair, and many are grabbing their pitchforks and thinking of starting a revolution against this, but…..you shouldn’t. Think of all of the Pompeiilians you are taking a beautiful city away from. According to Wikipedia (aka “The world’s most reliable resource known to man”) over 2 million people visited Pompeii last year. That’s like two groups of one million people. That’s insane. Just think about this for a second. Two million people. Where do you propose they tour at now? The Eiffel Tower? A coastline in Florida? Jamaica? Well, they are nothing compared to the wondrous wonder of Pompeii.
Palin and Hammond also believe that Mount Vesuvius’ rage being unleashed upon Pompeii, frankly, could have been avoided. “They could’ve sacrificed a couple of humans and the city would be fine,” says Sarah Palin. “Yeah,” says Hammond. So, to prevent this horrifying disaster from repeating itself, Mrs. Palin and Mr. Hammond Jr. are proposing that we sacrificed at least 15 people to the volcano. This seems rather cruel and unusual, but it is strongly recommended that the 15 people chosen to be “sacrificial lambs” should be people who are insane, dying, or generally not liked by many other people. Only once we sacrifice life will life be better for everybody else………..no, scratch that. Only once we sacrifice life CAN life be better for everyone else.
The most controversial part of this plan is that neither Hammond nor Palin is licensed to put this plan into place. Even once they have all of the necessities they need to prepare for the reconstruction of Pompeii, the plan will still have to go through the president and may be denied, but, according to Palin, it’s worth the risk. “It’s worth the risk,” says Palin. “We could fail, or we could succeed,” states Hammond Jr. The biggest thing going for Palin and Hammond Jr. is the fact that both of them have exponential amounts of money, and most people with a brain inside of their skulls trust and respect them at least a little bit. By using this money, as well as money from American taxpayers and other celebrities, Pompeii could be back in full working order by 2020. All that’s needed is the support of the President, which, as we all know, is easier said than done.
With incoming president Barack Obama entering the White House, it is unknown if Palin and Hammond Jr.’s plan will fall into place. During this election season, Palin and Obama did not exactly get along very well. Obama described Palin as a “senseless harlot” and Palin was heard calling Obama a “stupidhead.” It is unknown what Obama thinks of Hammond, but there are reports that Obama was heard blasting “Reptilia” from his private jet after finding out he was victorious in the 2008 election. Hammond has shown large amounts of rage because of his unrecognizing as the “guitarist with the most raw power” in the Strokes, but this has not affected his relationship with fellow bandmates.
Pompeii is truly beautiful city and it would be completely shameful if it were not restored to it’s original non-volcano destroyed state from 79 AD, and, despite Palin’s struggle with the English language and Hammond’s alcohol and smoking habits, the two have only one ultimate goal: reconstructing Pompeii. “We have one goal: reconstruction Pompeii,” Palin was overheard stating to her husband, who may or may not be a figment of Palin’s imagination. “I’m just here because I like to party,” says Hammond.
Who knows though? Maybe Palin and Hammond Jr.’s plan will succeed. Or perhaps it will fail. Both are incredibly optional options that could very likely occur. However, Sarah Palin is currently hunting caribou with her family and supposedly estranged husband, while Albert Hammond Jr. is busy helping record the Strokes’ 4th album. And smoking. When this alliance is reformed, though, you can expect events to occur. And things to happen.

The Introduction To The Craziest Thing You'll Ever Read

Alright, so I'm bored right now, and I've kinda been going through a bunch of old things I have saved on my flash drive from my Graphic Design class last year, and one thing caught my eye. Allow me to explain.

One day, out of boredom in my Graphic Design class, I decided to mess around in Photoshop. Little did I know that the picture I made would form the basis for a nearly 1500 word essay. What I did was created a random jumble of pictures. A smorgasbord, if you will. In this random photo collage I made on Photoshop, was pictures of Sarah Palin, The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr., and a photo of the city of Pompeii, Italy.

For those of you who don't know, Pompeii is a very interesting city for me. It was destroyed by a volcano in the year 79 AD. When I say "destroyed", I mean it literally was destroyed. It was covered in ash and cinder for hundreds of years, until it was discovered by accident (I forget when and by whom. Look it up online if you really want to know. This ain't Wikipedia. :p) But basically, I've always been interested in Pompeii, because it's a city that was destroyed nearly 2000 years ago, and it's still not completely been fixed back to normal. So that interested me.

The insanity of this idea was created out of a ridiculous Photoshop project I explained two paragraphs earlier. I came up with a crazy idea: "What if Sarah Palin and Albert Hammond Jr. started a project to help reconstruct the city of Pompeii?" It started out as kind of a parody of charity foundations founded by celebrities, I guess, and it evolved into this full-blown paper. It was crazy.

My original idea was to make this "Reconstruction Plan" roughly as long as the printed copy of the Bailout Plan. I quickly realized this would be a difficult task. So basically, my insanity and my imagination created a union between a former Vice Presidential candidate and a guitarist in a band leading the garage rock revival. The two would team up to help fix the city of Pompeii, Italy.

If you think that I'm crazy, don't be alarmed. It only shows the fact you're still sane. :D


Poetry Time!!!!

Here's some lyrics I wrote. Well, I guess without, you know, music to back it up, it's technically a "poem". But I don't know. Lyrics sound cooler. And I can't think of anything to post at the moment, so I'm posting these lyrics..........ahem........this poem. So yeah, enjoy it. Or don't. Whatevs. :D

The San Francisco Bay

The sun sets over San Francisco Bay
I wonder what I’ll learn today
And these thoughts I have, I must confess
A world in trouble is a world nonetheless

I’ve taken all the tests and written all the notes
Could I eventually see this is all a joke?
Winter shakes me, the sun’s a small relief
From all the devastation, and all the thieves

The sun sets over San Francisco Bay
I wonder the lessons I will learn today
And since you left me, these thoughts I must confess,
A heart that’s been broken, is a heart nonetheless

I don’t know why I expected you to change
You may act different now, but your attitude’s the same
Would like to see me fly like a wingless dove?
The torture and the pain of unrequited love

The sun has set tonight over San Francisco Bay
I find myself befuddled, can’t find the words to say
Without you here I have no life, I must confess
A life without you in it is a life nonetheless

My First Blog In........HOW LONG!??!

Well, wow. I realize I haven't posted a blog in forever. I apologize for this. I've been busy actually.......I don't know. Just doing random stuff I guess. Nothing too exciting. Living life, getting ready for college. Fun stuff like that, I suppose. But yeah, I'm back to posting on this blog now. Remember that blog about having a lack of things to blog about? Yeah, that's pretty much where I am now. So I'm trying to find stuff to blog about. It's a strenuous task when you don't have much of an exciting life. But I'll find something to blog about, I'm sure. Should be fun. Just enjoy the ride.

We're almost there, kids. :p


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Poetry = Result of Boredom.

Just some stuff I've written out of boredom. Hope they don't suck. ;D

The first thing I wrote, was my attempt to come up with a bunch of random lines that had the last word of them rhyme with "pass". That kinda failed, but it's still interesting. Haha. Enjoy.


Everything will come to pass,

Nothing in our lives will ever last,

We can’t change the past,

Everything will come to pass.

Friends grow up too fast,

The outcast of the senior class,

Looking through the glass,

Everything will come to pass.

Nice guys finish last,

Constantly harassed,

Nobody has any class,

But everything will come to pass.

Survivors of the blast,

No recollection of the past,

Every passing glance, means nothing, because

Everything will come to pass.

Everything will come to pass.

Everything will come to pass.

The next poem I wrote, ironically titled "I Can't Sleep" was written on a night when I (you guessed it!) couldn't sleep. I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you are too.


Nevermind, just check it out!


Sleep is coming soon,

As I lay in bed, the calendar reads “June”,

The way things used to be,

All my memories are scattered on the floor

Pictures, and hopes and dreams,

Have fallen apart, it seems,

The moonlight nearly wakes the dead,

And I cannot seem to go to bed

It’s past the midnight hour, it appears that I can’t sleep,

Tired of concealing all the secrets that I keep,

No matter how mundane, or pointless they appear,

My mind is always telling me that I cannot rest here

‘Cause I can’t sleep

Insomnia’s so cruel to me,

You know, you reap all that you sow,

Karma’s never been my friend,

Why? I do not know,

The dripping of the faucet

Sounds like the dropping of grenades,

Destroying everything I knew,

As the shadows play charades

It’s past the midnight hour, it appears that I can’t sleep,

Tired of concealing all the secrets that I keep,

No matter how mundane, or pointless it appears,

My mind is always telling me that I cannot rest here

‘Cause I can’t sleep

The sandman’s calling for me,

But I cannot reply,

The bed is like a prison cell,

Awaiting my goodbye

It’s past the midnight hour, it appears that I can’t sleep,

Tired of concealing all the secrets that I keep,

No matter how mundane, or pointless they appear,

My mind is always telling me that I cannot rest here

Love: It's Who You Know

Maybe it's the fact that I'm in a bit of an introspective mood, but I'm going to blog again. Haha. Remember how I was complaining about not having anything to blog about.

Yeah, not the case anymore.

So, most of you who know me know that I was recently broken up with. Now, there are numerous ways I could handle being broken up with. I could lie and tell people how horrible she was and how I don't care anymore about her. I could just ignore her. Or I could just be like "please, come back to me." I did none of those things.

I find myself in an odd situation, because frankly, I still really like her. Alot. And I probably will for a while. But I don't hate her or anything like that, and I've accepted that both of us are moving on and going different places in life, and I'm fine with that. We still talk from time to time, which is nice. I'm not going to go around and be like "Oh, my heart was broken. Woe is me." or "She's missing out on all this goodness" or whatever guys say after a girl breaks up with them. No, that's not my style. I'm just taking it in stride. A bit of a melancholy stride, but a stride nonetheless.

Do I miss her? At times, yeah, I do. But what do you do? In some situations, you gotta move on, and that's what I'm doing.

Soldier on.


How Does It Feel?

So, this will probably be the most personal blog you'll ever read from me. I just feel I have a few things to get off my chest.

These days, I feel I've hit a bit of a midlife crisis, which is bad because I'm 18. Haha. But anymore, I find myself in an odd situation. I feel like I have no direction in my life, I suppose. No real motivation to do much of anything, quite frankly. I feel like I'm living my life on repeat. I don't do anything different, I don't do anything to stand out. I just fear I'm becoming a cliche of society, and I don't want that at all. I fear that once I do get a job and all of that, I'll become just another person that just kinda existed, you know? But, I don't know. I'm trying my best to get over this stupid personal exile of mine and attempt to live my life as much as possible. It's working to an extent, but still, I hate staying at home, because I feel as if I'm accomplishing nothing. Which I also hate. That's double the hatred. Haha.

Now, I'm not suicidal or anything of that sort, and I don't hate myself or my life. I just kinda........you know, I don't know. I just want to get out and live life instead of just sitting on my ass and not doing anything productive. I want to make an impact on somebody's life. Even if it's only one person. I want to be something. I don't want to be an average joe. I want to be somebody.