I Wanna Be Your Crystal Baller.

Greetings, everyone. What's up? Not much? Cool, man, cool. That's my jam. I guess you didn't really set me up to use "that's my jam" in this one-sided conversation, but regardless, I said it. Anyways, this blog is going to be a semi-rant about love and a girl I've been friends with for nearly half a decade. Sound fun? Let's rock.

Well, as I said, there's a girl who I've been really good friends with for the last roughly 5 years or so. I first started talking to her during the middle of my freshman year in high school and now we're both in college. She lives about 10 minutes away from me, so I get to see her quite often. Now, we've been friends for a while, and we have a ton in common despite not having much in common, if that makes any sense at all. We just click for whatever reason, despite us having totally different interests. I can't really explain it, but I just really enjoy spending time with her and talking to her, and I really trust her, and well, she makes me feel better when things are crap, more or less. Haha.

I also happen to really like her. But here's the thing: I have no idea how she feels about me, but she has rejected me before. Not very promising, I know. :/ However, the last time I told her I liked her was well over 2 years ago, and we've hung out a ton since then, so me, being to eternal optimist I try to be, is trying to keep some semblance of hope that maybe she'll like me in return. But, yeah, I don't know if she does.

Now, you're probably just thinking "well, if you like her, ask her, you f*&king dumbski," right? Yeah, that's likely what I should do. However, I have a genuine fear of...............now, I'm gonna stop you. I'm actually not afraid of rejection, oddly enough. Because, as I've said, it happens and it's happened before, but what I fear more is her reaction. Like, I'm afraid she'll get weirded out by me liking her or whatever and then be like "I don't want to hang with you anymore" and all. I don't know. I've asked some people, and well, I've gotten reactions anywhere from "why are you still persuing her? lol friendzone'd!" to "may as well go for it. The worst she can do is reject you again, right?" Basically, I'm at a loss of what to do.

This blog doesn't really have much of a purpose. I just really have been bothered by this a lot recently and haven't been sure what to do, so I figured I'd rant on it on my blog. Feel free to skip all this if you want. It's just me ranting essentially. Anyways, rant over.

Peace and love.

500+ Days of Luna.

I'm not sure of the exact amount of days, but I'll go with that. ;)

Anyways, I'm not one to look back in anger, and I never will be like that. Life's too short to be angry over petty things, so I'm not upset and I'm not bitter. Moreso sad and melancholy feeling, but there's nothing that can take away all of the amazing memories between myself in Luna. Because in all honesty, the time spent with her was the greatest time of my entire life and I highly doubt that anything will ever be able to top it. Ever. We never were the most conventional couple. We were more than just a boyfriend and girlfriend: we were best friends who happened to be romantically linked together. We had everything in common seemingly, and even if I didn't get to talk to her for a large amount of time at school, just seeing her in the hallway and seeing her smile could make my entire day worth waking up at 6:30 in the morning.

And the memories? God, so many memories that I would never forget. Slow dancing to crappy hardcore music at a local show in Wabash. (As I said, we were never conventional. ;D) Poking you with a drumstick and getting kicked in the shin for my actions. Me doing horrendous impressions. Talking on the phone for hours on end about whatever came to mind. Me complimenting Thomas's shirt at a Gamer's club meeting and all of the following awkwardness that came afterwards (you know what I'm talking about. :P). Walking through Roann with you. Sitting under the bridge and my attempts to avoid long, awkward silences. All of your notes (seriously. You wrote the best notes ever. :D). The way you always wrote your f's backwards when we first started talking to eachother. All of the bands I'd never heard of that you've gotten me interested in (Death Cab, Interpol, etc.). How pumped I got at that dance when they legitly played Sandstorm. The first time we ever met at Homecoming because I couldn't find any of my friends and went over to hang with Josh and Jacob. Our mutual love of the Smashing Pumpkins and our Pumpkins song-themed nicknames for each other (Luna and Spaceboy, respectably). The copy of King Dork you gave me with all of the lyrics and other inside jokes you wrote inside of it. That Godforsaken episode of Sex and the City with the sub sandwich (:P). I could go on and on and on about all of the amazing memories I have with her, but I'll stop for now.

To this day, she is the most amazing girl I have ever met in my entire life, and I highly doubt anyone will ever top the impact that she's made in my life. And, in all honesty, I still love her with all of my heart, and I mean that. Things didn't work out between us, unfortunately, but we still remain close and..........this hopefully doesn't sound too horrible, but I still really have hope that we can get together in the future. When, I don't know, but for now, I'm just glad that she's happy with her life right now. I'm not necessarily happy at the moment with mine, but I'll get there. Even if we never get back to the way we used to be, though I'm hoping and praying that we do, as she has said in her blog, we'll always have those days that we did spend together, and absolutely nothing or no one can take them away. And, as I lie in bed and start doing my patented "thinking about everything" bit, I'll have memories of her come to my mind, and I'll just think of them and smile.

I'm glad that she smiles too.

-Spaceboy.

I Hope You Don't Mind If I Go Out Speaking The King's.

Howdy. So, I'm incredibly bored, and it's late, so I'm blogging. No, it's not a quarter after one. I'm not drunk, and contrary to what Lady Antebellum says, I don't need you know. That song annoys me. I don't need you, Lady Antebellum. Alas, I digress. I don't really know what to blog about, honestly. This tends to be a common problem with me. Oh well.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking. *alert* I've realized that I have only loved two girls in my life, both of them completely different from one another. One, whom I met a little over a year ago and am super close with, has everything in common with me seemingly, and the other, whom I met 4 years ago and am still good friends with, has almost nothing in common with me. Yet, somehow, I think both of them are amazing. I just thought to myself "how could I fall for two girls that are completely different for one another?" and then it hit me: this love thing is actually real. And people who say it isn't are complete morons and should be stabbed in the face with a pitchfork. Maybe not that, but it's stupid if you don't believe in love. To each their own, I guess.

Love is a concept that numerous people have tried to explain with limited success or absolute success, depending on who you ask. I can't even describe it, to be completely honest with you. It's strange, because I've hung out with numerous girls and I've dated numerous girls, all of which are great in their own ways, don't get me wrong, but I've never felt a connection like the one I felt with these two girls 4 years ago and one year ago respectably. I guess love is just one of those things that just.........happens, you know? It's funny to think about. On one side, we have relationships that last for minutes, and then on the other, we hear about couples celebrating their 50th and 60th anniversaries. How does love work?

Bottom line is this: love just exists. Trying to argue otherwise is futile and you're essentially debasing the idea that two people can be in love for such a period of time. I can only hope that I can be the person celebrating his 60th anniversary, looking my love in her eyes, and saying "I love you", and still, after so much time has passed, meaning it as much as I did the moment I first saw her.

That's just love, man.

I'm out.

-Creech.

No Man Will Stand For Things That He Had Done.

Well, I was going to write an introduction to this blog, but I frankly can't think of one. Whether that's bad or good, I do not know, but I'm just going to jump straight into this one.

So, I was reading my ex-girlfriend's blog, and quite frankly, I didn't know how to react to it. I feared the worst, so I read it, and thankfully it was absolutely nothing bad. In all honesty, it meant the world to me, and that's the best way I can think of to describe it. It seems like my only reaction was to cry. In fact, I did cry. Not tears of sadness, tears of joy, truly. It was a strange feeling.

I'll never forget all of our crazy times together. Meeting up at Homecoming last year. Our numerous times hanging out together. Writing notes to each other. Talking on the phone for hours on end about an endless stream of topics. Just little stuff like that, but they meant everything to me. I was going through a tough time in my life. I was at this crossroads of "where am I going?" I guess I felt different, or dare I say, weird. And then I met her. She has literally changed the way I think. She has impacted my life in a way that nobody else can, nor likely ever will. And again, I mean this in an absolutely positive light. I have never hated her, nor will I ever hate her. She meant the world to me, and she still does. In fact, she's one of my closest friends. If not my closest friend.

Sure, we broke up, but I'm not going to be a jerk and hate her for it. That's absolutely moronic. It's idiotic to hate someone who broke up with you, unless you've got an extremely good reason to. I have no reason to hate her. I still care about her, and I'll always be there for her, even if I'm not actually there in person. And..........there's so much I have to say, but I want to try and keep this as brief as possible. So, for now, I'll end this blog.

If you're reading this, I may not live nearby, but I'm always here for you. And I always will be.

You're Still Young, But Your Mind Has Grown Old, It Seems.

So, I've just been doing a large amount of thinking lately, which is never a good thing. As a good friend of mine stated, "overthinking leads to doubt, which you want to avoid." So yeah, overthinking is best avoided. However, when bored, and with nothing better to do, what else is there to do but think? At least for me. If I try to not worry, I end up overthinking and I start worrying about every damn single thing.

Take love for example. I used to always overthink when it comes to love, which is usually my downfall. When I like a girl, I begin to worry. I fear I'm not good enough, or that I'll lose the person that I'm with. Or that the person I'm with isn't who I should be with, or something like that. Something ridiculous of that sort. And when I'm was in relationships, I used to think I'd lose them, or that they'd find somebody better and leave me or..........all that stuff. Thankfully, I think I'm finally getting over that. Thank God. I guess, when it comes to love, I just haven't had tremendous luck. And because of my bad luck with relationships and love, I'm just kinda afraid of talking to girls. Which sounds very Junior High of me, I guess, but it's just the way I am.

So, sure, I like a couple of girls right now, but my confidence has been nearly shot down, so I'm scared as hell to go up to a girl that I like that I haven't talked to much and ask them to hang out or whatever. Thankfully, I'm getting over being so worrisome about myself and I'm beginning to realize that most girls won't judge me and will be nice, which sounds foolish and completely idiotic of me to begin realizing, but for somebody who hasn't had many relationships, it's huge for me. I'm realizing that the worst that can happen to me is that they'll say no. And if so, I just move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea, so I just have to.......keep fishing.

Yeah.

-Creech

Random Thoughts For The Evening.

Alright, so lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not a good thing when it comes to me, I realize, but nonetheless, I've been thinking a lot. And there's something that's been bothering me a lot lately, and I don't know if anybody really reads this blog, but I feel I need to get this off of my chest, and this is really the only means for me to do so. So, here we go.

Ok, let's start out with a question. I'll try to explain this as well as I can, but here goes: have you ever been in a situation, and then that situation happened to you again, but only the roles in the situation were reversed? That probably wasn't a great explanation, but I'll try to explain better again.

Alright, a few years ago, I, quite frankly and honestly, met a girl who's been nothing but amazing to me. We don't have a ton in common, but I truly thought it was one of those situations where opposites attracted, and I took quite a bit of time to get to know her even. We became incredibly close and we hung out and talked on the phone or on the computer for hours on end. However, when the time came for me to actually ask her out, she said no. Now, I don't hate her and I consider her one of my closest friends, but at the time, it really hurt me. And to be honest, I still really like her. But I guess after so long of liking her and nothing happening between us relationship-wise, I've grown to accept that we won't be together, at least as boyfriend and girlfriend. But that was a huge learning experience for me, definitely.

Odd as it may seem, this situation is happening with me......again. Except the roles are reversed. I wonder if M. Night Shyamalan is directing my life, because this has been a huge frickin' twist.

Long story short, it's now me that's not interested in the relationship. Well, I wouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship, but...I don't know. There's this girl, who's pretty much everything I could want. She's sweet, funny, incredibly easy to talk to, and super trustworthy. However, for whatever reason, I have denied her the opportunity to date me. And, in all honesty, I'm not sure why.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I don't know. It makes sense to me, I guess. I'm kinda nervous about getting into a relationship to begin with, and the fact that there's a girl out there that really likes me that much is kinda scary to me, I guess. Frankly, I know I'm an imperfect person. I likely screw up on a constant basis, and sometimes, as self-depricating as this will probably sound, I honestly don't know what girls see in me. Well, maybe not to that extent, but I'm just super nervous about getting into a relationship, I suppose.

This blog hasn't really made much sense, I realize, and no offense is meant to the girls referred to in this blog, because I truly do love and care about them and I have no bad intentions with this blog. I realize there's no real solution to my situation, but I just felt the need to vent about things and as I said, I have a blog to do it in, so ha! :P But anyways, here's to better days, and thanks for reading.

Stay sweet.

-Creech

Love: It's Who You Know

Maybe it's the fact that I'm in a bit of an introspective mood, but I'm going to blog again. Haha. Remember how I was complaining about not having anything to blog about.

Yeah, not the case anymore.

So, most of you who know me know that I was recently broken up with. Now, there are numerous ways I could handle being broken up with. I could lie and tell people how horrible she was and how I don't care anymore about her. I could just ignore her. Or I could just be like "please, come back to me." I did none of those things.

I find myself in an odd situation, because frankly, I still really like her. Alot. And I probably will for a while. But I don't hate her or anything like that, and I've accepted that both of us are moving on and going different places in life, and I'm fine with that. We still talk from time to time, which is nice. I'm not going to go around and be like "Oh, my heart was broken. Woe is me." or "She's missing out on all this goodness" or whatever guys say after a girl breaks up with them. No, that's not my style. I'm just taking it in stride. A bit of a melancholy stride, but a stride nonetheless.

Do I miss her? At times, yeah, I do. But what do you do? In some situations, you gotta move on, and that's what I'm doing.

Soldier on.

-Creech

The Lexicon of Love

As I type this blog, I realize that love is a rather difficult topic to discuss. Frankly, it's nearly impossible. Love has been compared to everything from a battlefield to a journey to suicide. Yeah, love's quite complicated. It's hard to explain. The simple answer to questions involving love is "when you're in love, you'll know it." And, to some extent, that's pretty true. When you love somebody, you'll know it. It just happens.

Frankly, I haven't had the greatest luck with that. I don't have a girl to give me "that little wink every now and then," as Bowflex's Brian Alvarez has. Asshole.

It seems in recent cases with love, I either A) Screw it up in some spectacular fashion, B) have feelings for a girl that they do not have, or C) The girl has feelings for me that I don't have for them. Not to say that all of the girls I've liked are horrible. I've liked some great girls and dated some great girls, but as I sit here as a single man, I think about all of my previous encounters with love, and some have been like watching The Notebook. Others have been like the extra features on a DVD of Blind Date's 1st season.

But, as Rascal Flatts said, "others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars."

Rascal Flatts sucks.