I Wanna Be Your Crystal Baller.

Greetings, everyone. What's up? Not much? Cool, man, cool. That's my jam. I guess you didn't really set me up to use "that's my jam" in this one-sided conversation, but regardless, I said it. Anyways, this blog is going to be a semi-rant about love and a girl I've been friends with for nearly half a decade. Sound fun? Let's rock.

Well, as I said, there's a girl who I've been really good friends with for the last roughly 5 years or so. I first started talking to her during the middle of my freshman year in high school and now we're both in college. She lives about 10 minutes away from me, so I get to see her quite often. Now, we've been friends for a while, and we have a ton in common despite not having much in common, if that makes any sense at all. We just click for whatever reason, despite us having totally different interests. I can't really explain it, but I just really enjoy spending time with her and talking to her, and I really trust her, and well, she makes me feel better when things are crap, more or less. Haha.

I also happen to really like her. But here's the thing: I have no idea how she feels about me, but she has rejected me before. Not very promising, I know. :/ However, the last time I told her I liked her was well over 2 years ago, and we've hung out a ton since then, so me, being to eternal optimist I try to be, is trying to keep some semblance of hope that maybe she'll like me in return. But, yeah, I don't know if she does.

Now, you're probably just thinking "well, if you like her, ask her, you f*&king dumbski," right? Yeah, that's likely what I should do. However, I have a genuine fear of...............now, I'm gonna stop you. I'm actually not afraid of rejection, oddly enough. Because, as I've said, it happens and it's happened before, but what I fear more is her reaction. Like, I'm afraid she'll get weirded out by me liking her or whatever and then be like "I don't want to hang with you anymore" and all. I don't know. I've asked some people, and well, I've gotten reactions anywhere from "why are you still persuing her? lol friendzone'd!" to "may as well go for it. The worst she can do is reject you again, right?" Basically, I'm at a loss of what to do.

This blog doesn't really have much of a purpose. I just really have been bothered by this a lot recently and haven't been sure what to do, so I figured I'd rant on it on my blog. Feel free to skip all this if you want. It's just me ranting essentially. Anyways, rant over.

Peace and love.

Clouds Stop And Move Above Me, Too Bad They Can't Help Me.

It seems that most of my blogs lately have been the result of being bummed out for God knows what reasons and a substantial amount of overthinking, basically. I've been thinking basically about how real life can just..........consume us, you know?

This is something I'd pretty much known, but never fully realized until now. For example, I was having a bad night and took out my frustrations on this girl I used to talk to and hung out with one day, and after that day we hung out, she barely spoke to me after that. I thought it was because she hated me or something like that, but she told me that she also barely talks to anyone because work and all of that takes up much of their life, and I was just like "what the hell?" Who am I to get angry at her? But anyways, it just sucks that life has to be like this.

Like, ever since high school, I've lost a lot of what I had in high school. I had a large amount of friends, which sounds arrogant, this I know, but I talked to a lot of people and hung out with numerous people, but now I barely talk to anybody anymore. It just sucks and it's absolute bullshit that work and college have to take away our lives, you know? I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer or anything like that, but I just hate this so much. And I'm not the only one, I'm sure.

Then again, a lot of people who work and have school find time to be with friends and people they love, so I suppose it goes both ways. Hehe. You know you're thinking something dirty. Pervs. :P

Anyways, I'll end this blog for now. Just some thoughts of mine. Later.

-Creech.

Thoughts For The Evening.

Isn't it interesting how simply speaking our minds can bring such mixed emotions to us? We all seem to keep things inside and sometimes, we hold back from telling people how we really feel, yet sometimes, in my opinion, it's good to get those feelings out and tell people how we feel, as the John Mayer song says "say what you need to say." Then again, he also wrote a song that says "I'm never speaking up again, it only hurts me," so take that advice with a grain of salt, I suppose. Regardless, I think, in some cases, it's good to get those feelings out, whether the reaction from the person is positive or negative. It's better to say too much than to say nothing at all, as the saying goes, is it not?

I'm Never Speaking Up Again.

This song that I'm about to post, I can completely relate to. Well, not entirely, but somewhat. Wow, I'm not making sense. Well, anyways, this song is pretty much about how sometimes, we all say things that get us in trouble, pretty much. Whether we say something to make somebody angry, sad, confused, or anything of that nature, or we say something that we don't mean, we've all been in situations like this. Everyone's probably also been on the recieving end of this situation as well, being the person who's been told something that's hurt them. But, I guess, I don't know.

Personally, that's what makes us all human. We all make mistakes, and as long as the mistake isn't absolutely horrible or unforgivable, then as far as I'm concerned, they deserve to be forgiven for what they've done. Sure, at the time, it probably pissed you off at the time, but if the person feels badly about it and they didn't like, kill your dog or something, then forgive them, damn it. There've been so many situations where I've seen friendships torn apart and nearly ended because of just......ridiculous arguments and things of that nature. It just frustrates me that us, the most imperfect species probably on this planet, are unwilling to forgive people for petty things.

I know that I'm not perfect, and I'll be the first person to say that I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I probably say and do things that piss people off or annoy them, but as the song says "I just wanna be liked, just wanna be funny, I guess the joke's on me."

Anyways, enough ranting and venting. Enjoy the song:



-Creech.

Spineless Bastards.

Nice title, right? Yeah, I thought so too. It's a lyric from a Smiths song. Called The Headmaster Ritual. Badass title, right? Yep. I thought so as well. It doesn't have any significance

So, I have no idea what to do anymore. That sounds really stupid and emo, so I'll take it back. But without backspacing because it makes my blog look more legit if I just ramble, as we established. *wink* But, I don't know. I'm so confused about everything. Just so many things are happening at once in my life and it's annoying the crap out of me, for lack of a better term. Last year, I was excited about graduating and starting a "new life", so to speak, and now, at this point, I'm miserable. Not necessarily miserable, because I absolutely realize things could be incredibly worse, but I'm just....dissatisfied. College tends to stress me out more often than not, having a job is good and I have no problems with the place I work, but it takes away a lot of my free time that I'd like to use to hang out with friends and whatnot.

Just, I guess, sometimes, I wish I could return to high school, which I never thought I would say, believe me, but I am. I had virtually no worries my Senior year. Everything was as perfect as could be, for the most part. I had numerous friends and I actually enjoyed going to school every day. *shudder* But now, things are so much different. I'm only incredibly close to three or four people anymore, and I hate that.

I don't want to whine or complain or anything of that nature, and I realize that it sounds like I am. But I've just grown tired of the way my life is going right now, and I guess I'm just lamenting on a return to simpler times. I pretty much hate everything about how things are going, and I really do want to change things. I know my situation isn't hopeless or anything of that nature.


As, I always say:

Rant over.

-Creech.

Untitled.

Hi there. So, this blog is actually going to be somewhat serious for once, which is odd for me, I realize, but last weekend, something kind of odd happened that gave me a really weird feeling. I know this sounds like it doesn't make sense whatsoever, but I'll explain.

As you may know, I work at a nursing home in town. I don't actually see the actual residents there all that much, because my main job is washing dishes, but I still see them enough to know who a lot of them are. Well, one day last weekend, as I was getting off of work, I walked up to the front of the building to use the restroom before I left. As I was walking up to the front, I saw one of the residents in a wheelchair, just sitting and staring out the front door. And, naturally, I wonder what was going through his mind. What would go through a person's mind if they were sent, for one reason or another, to a nursing home? I'm sure a lot of people have gotten used to it after being there for an extended period of time, but I couldn't imagine after so many years of being at home, being sent to a place with a bunch of strangers.

So, this blog didn't really have much of a point, I suppose. I just had been thinking about this for awhile, and it has, as stupid as this probably sounds, changed my perspective on life in a really odd sort of way. I'm not even sure why, but it was an odd experience to say the least, and I won't soon forget it.

-Creech.

I Have A Forty-Four Dollar Haircut!

Hi. So, remember that last blog where I fawned over a girl that I liked? Yeah, that's not gonna happen. More specifically, she isn't interested in me. Which is fine. It happens, you know? Not every girl that I'm attracted to is going to run to me, and I completely realize and accept that. However, when you decide to take a girl out on a date to a rather awesome restaurant (Applebee's FTW.) AND to a movie (Avatar FTW.), that tends to send the signal that maybe, just MAYBE, you might be slightly interested in them. And most of the time, it's not considered polite to essentially ignore that person after said date.

Then, when one of my incredibly close friends decides to have one of his friends ask this girl about the situation, you tell them that you aren't interested in me AND that you like someone else. Super. You could've just told me "Hey, I had a great time, but I don't think we're going to be together" or whatever, but no. You decide to say absolutely NOTHING to me. And the fact that I have to find out your deal is through a forwarded text message from my friend doesn't exactly ease the pain, so to speak.

Now, I'm not trying to say that you broke my heart or anything like that, and I personally don't think I'm being too overdramatic here. If you weren't interested in me that way, you should've just told me. I wouldn't have been hurt (well, at least not as much as I am now, anyways) if you'd have just said that. And if you knew you weren't interested in me before our date, then you should've just said that beforehand and I would've been totally cool with that. But instead, you don't say anything, which already makes me think I did something wrong and all has gone to hell. So, I'm not really mad or anything like that, because it's an absolute waste of energy to be upset and all anger does in situations like this is cause more trouble. I'm just saying, as childish as this sounds, that you have officially hurt my feelings by your actions (or lack thereof, I guess in this case). So, if that was your goal, then mission freakin' accomplished.

And people wonder why I have a lack of confidence with females.

Rant over.

It's Official: I'm In Love With Summer.

Allow me to start off by saying that 500 Days of Summer is a tremendous movie. If you haven't seen it, then you probably should. If that's what you're into of course. At the very least, watch this and tell me that you aren't interested in the slightest bit in seeing this film:



If that doesn't convince you, then I have no idea what to tell you. You're probably great with not giving in to peer pressure. Well, anyways, the point of this blog isn't to discuss 500 Days of Summer, as fantastic of a film as it may be and as much as I find Zooey Deschanel immensely attractive. The point of this blog, is well, to explain a crush that I currently have.

As childish as that probably sounds, I currently have a crush on a girl. I know what you're thinking. Actually, no I don't. I'm not a psychic. But anyways, there's this girl I really like, and I can't quite pinpoint precisely why I do. It's very odd. But I hung out with her yesterday, and had an absolutely fantastic time. She's a lot of fun to be around and incredibly easy to talk to, which is definitely a good thing.

Now, I'm not saying that she's my soulmate or whatever, because it's insanely early to say so. However, I do know that I like her and definitely want to spend more time with her. I can only hope that she feels the same.

-Creech.

Doin' Stuff With The Food.

Hello.

So, I recently borrowed the 1st season of Flight of the Conchords from my friend Chris, who is borrowing it from my friend Mitch. Complicated triangle of DVD viewing, isn't it? I'm not sure if that made sense. But anyways, I watched the 1st season of FOTC, and lemme tell ya: it's tremendous. The way they mix their songs in with the hilarious ridiculous stories they have is hilarious. One of the funniest songs on Flight of the Conchords was a song, oddly enough, by a band that isn't FOTC. A band featuring comedians Todd Barry and Demetri Martin, called the Crazy Dogggz (3 g's and a z). You'd likely have to watch the episode of FOTC featuring this song to get the gist of what's going on, but basically:

Todd is a bongo player who Murray, the band's manager, invited to join Flight of the Conchords, but Bret and Jemaine (Flight of the Conchords), want Todd out after he plays ridiculous bongo solos. Eventually, the bands goes to fire Todd, but Todd convinces Jemaine to fire Bret instead. Bret starts a new band with Demetri, a keytar player. The two bands, known as Flight of the Conchords and the Original Flight of the Conchords, play a few gigs together, and then eventually, Todd and Demitri decide to form their own band, called the Crazy Dogggz. They perform the following song, Doggy Bounce. And hilarity ensues:



So, yeah, Flight of the Conchords is great. Check it out for yourself if you can. You won't regret it. Promise.

-Creech.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me.

Greetings. So, this is my first blog of the month. Well, actually my 3rd, I guess, but it's my first legit blog. The first was just these random lyrics I wrote and the 2nd was a video, but this blog: oh, it's not either of those. It's much different.

Allow me to start by saying the following: I HATE annotated bibliographies.

Basically, the reason I say this is because they seem incredibly unnecessary. Bibliographies themselves, they're fine. Citing your sources and all so you don't get sued randomly by ESPN.com for stealing their information, you know? It makes sense. I get that. I just don't get the "annotation" part of it. It seems fairly meaningless. I mean, for our AB (I'm abbreviating it from now on, because it takes forever to type if I don't), we have to type a paragraph (at least) talking about the author of the source we are using, AND why/if the source is helpful or not. Now, I mean, logic tells me if you're using a source for a 2000 word Argument essay in a college class, it's going to be helpful in some way, shape, or form. If not, then it's a huge ass waste of time. It just seems like more work than needs to be done, in my opinion. I'm sure there's people out there who get their jollies from annotated bibliographies. However, I am not one of those people. And if YOU are one of those people, you should be smacked upside the head. Well, maybe not that, but I digress.

Rant over.

-Creech.

You're Still Young, But Your Mind Has Grown Old, It Seems.

So, I've just been doing a large amount of thinking lately, which is never a good thing. As a good friend of mine stated, "overthinking leads to doubt, which you want to avoid." So yeah, overthinking is best avoided. However, when bored, and with nothing better to do, what else is there to do but think? At least for me. If I try to not worry, I end up overthinking and I start worrying about every damn single thing.

Take love for example. I used to always overthink when it comes to love, which is usually my downfall. When I like a girl, I begin to worry. I fear I'm not good enough, or that I'll lose the person that I'm with. Or that the person I'm with isn't who I should be with, or something like that. Something ridiculous of that sort. And when I'm was in relationships, I used to think I'd lose them, or that they'd find somebody better and leave me or..........all that stuff. Thankfully, I think I'm finally getting over that. Thank God. I guess, when it comes to love, I just haven't had tremendous luck. And because of my bad luck with relationships and love, I'm just kinda afraid of talking to girls. Which sounds very Junior High of me, I guess, but it's just the way I am.

So, sure, I like a couple of girls right now, but my confidence has been nearly shot down, so I'm scared as hell to go up to a girl that I like that I haven't talked to much and ask them to hang out or whatever. Thankfully, I'm getting over being so worrisome about myself and I'm beginning to realize that most girls won't judge me and will be nice, which sounds foolish and completely idiotic of me to begin realizing, but for somebody who hasn't had many relationships, it's huge for me. I'm realizing that the worst that can happen to me is that they'll say no. And if so, I just move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea, so I just have to.......keep fishing.

Yeah.

-Creech

Random Thoughts For The Evening.

Alright, so lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not a good thing when it comes to me, I realize, but nonetheless, I've been thinking a lot. And there's something that's been bothering me a lot lately, and I don't know if anybody really reads this blog, but I feel I need to get this off of my chest, and this is really the only means for me to do so. So, here we go.

Ok, let's start out with a question. I'll try to explain this as well as I can, but here goes: have you ever been in a situation, and then that situation happened to you again, but only the roles in the situation were reversed? That probably wasn't a great explanation, but I'll try to explain better again.

Alright, a few years ago, I, quite frankly and honestly, met a girl who's been nothing but amazing to me. We don't have a ton in common, but I truly thought it was one of those situations where opposites attracted, and I took quite a bit of time to get to know her even. We became incredibly close and we hung out and talked on the phone or on the computer for hours on end. However, when the time came for me to actually ask her out, she said no. Now, I don't hate her and I consider her one of my closest friends, but at the time, it really hurt me. And to be honest, I still really like her. But I guess after so long of liking her and nothing happening between us relationship-wise, I've grown to accept that we won't be together, at least as boyfriend and girlfriend. But that was a huge learning experience for me, definitely.

Odd as it may seem, this situation is happening with me......again. Except the roles are reversed. I wonder if M. Night Shyamalan is directing my life, because this has been a huge frickin' twist.

Long story short, it's now me that's not interested in the relationship. Well, I wouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship, but...I don't know. There's this girl, who's pretty much everything I could want. She's sweet, funny, incredibly easy to talk to, and super trustworthy. However, for whatever reason, I have denied her the opportunity to date me. And, in all honesty, I'm not sure why.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I don't know. It makes sense to me, I guess. I'm kinda nervous about getting into a relationship to begin with, and the fact that there's a girl out there that really likes me that much is kinda scary to me, I guess. Frankly, I know I'm an imperfect person. I likely screw up on a constant basis, and sometimes, as self-depricating as this will probably sound, I honestly don't know what girls see in me. Well, maybe not to that extent, but I'm just super nervous about getting into a relationship, I suppose.

This blog hasn't really made much sense, I realize, and no offense is meant to the girls referred to in this blog, because I truly do love and care about them and I have no bad intentions with this blog. I realize there's no real solution to my situation, but I just felt the need to vent about things and as I said, I have a blog to do it in, so ha! :P But anyways, here's to better days, and thanks for reading.

Stay sweet.

-Creech

Love: It's Who You Know

Maybe it's the fact that I'm in a bit of an introspective mood, but I'm going to blog again. Haha. Remember how I was complaining about not having anything to blog about.

Yeah, not the case anymore.

So, most of you who know me know that I was recently broken up with. Now, there are numerous ways I could handle being broken up with. I could lie and tell people how horrible she was and how I don't care anymore about her. I could just ignore her. Or I could just be like "please, come back to me." I did none of those things.

I find myself in an odd situation, because frankly, I still really like her. Alot. And I probably will for a while. But I don't hate her or anything like that, and I've accepted that both of us are moving on and going different places in life, and I'm fine with that. We still talk from time to time, which is nice. I'm not going to go around and be like "Oh, my heart was broken. Woe is me." or "She's missing out on all this goodness" or whatever guys say after a girl breaks up with them. No, that's not my style. I'm just taking it in stride. A bit of a melancholy stride, but a stride nonetheless.

Do I miss her? At times, yeah, I do. But what do you do? In some situations, you gotta move on, and that's what I'm doing.

Soldier on.

-Creech

How Does It Feel?

So, this will probably be the most personal blog you'll ever read from me. I just feel I have a few things to get off my chest.

These days, I feel I've hit a bit of a midlife crisis, which is bad because I'm 18. Haha. But anymore, I find myself in an odd situation. I feel like I have no direction in my life, I suppose. No real motivation to do much of anything, quite frankly. I feel like I'm living my life on repeat. I don't do anything different, I don't do anything to stand out. I just fear I'm becoming a cliche of society, and I don't want that at all. I fear that once I do get a job and all of that, I'll become just another person that just kinda existed, you know? But, I don't know. I'm trying my best to get over this stupid personal exile of mine and attempt to live my life as much as possible. It's working to an extent, but still, I hate staying at home, because I feel as if I'm accomplishing nothing. Which I also hate. That's double the hatred. Haha.

Now, I'm not suicidal or anything of that sort, and I don't hate myself or my life. I just kinda........you know, I don't know. I just want to get out and live life instead of just sitting on my ass and not doing anything productive. I want to make an impact on somebody's life. Even if it's only one person. I want to be something. I don't want to be an average joe. I want to be somebody.

-Creech

At School?

Ok, so about 10 seconds ago, I blogged about not being able to think of anything to blog about.

I have found something. Boom!

So, for those of you who know me (and the vast majority of you who are reading this do, if not all of you), I graduated from my high school, Northfield, in May of this year. My Senior year was, quite frankly, amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better year, really. Everything went as well as it could have, and I won't forget it any time soon. However, I've been sort of facing this silly debate, if you will. Even before I graduated, I was wondering to myself, "Should I stop by my old high school occasionally to see everybody?" Because oddly enough, the vast majority of my friends are younger than me. For a period of time, I was undecided on whether I would do so or not.

On one end, I would get to see a lot of my friends, which is cool. On the other end, I have no reason to go back, really. I could see most of my friends whenever I wanted to, and the diploma I received represents the fact that I'm freed from the so-called prison known as high school. It'd be kinda like a convict who just got released from prison deciding to go back and visit his former prison. Makes no sense, right?

So, I've reached this conclusion: if I want to see my friends, I can see them pretty much anytime I want to. There's no need for me to return to my high school. I don't know most of the people there and I have no desire to go back to my former establishment of learning. I'm not about the past, I'm about the future.

Reach for the stars.

-Creech

The Lexicon of Love

As I type this blog, I realize that love is a rather difficult topic to discuss. Frankly, it's nearly impossible. Love has been compared to everything from a battlefield to a journey to suicide. Yeah, love's quite complicated. It's hard to explain. The simple answer to questions involving love is "when you're in love, you'll know it." And, to some extent, that's pretty true. When you love somebody, you'll know it. It just happens.

Frankly, I haven't had the greatest luck with that. I don't have a girl to give me "that little wink every now and then," as Bowflex's Brian Alvarez has. Asshole.

It seems in recent cases with love, I either A) Screw it up in some spectacular fashion, B) have feelings for a girl that they do not have, or C) The girl has feelings for me that I don't have for them. Not to say that all of the girls I've liked are horrible. I've liked some great girls and dated some great girls, but as I sit here as a single man, I think about all of my previous encounters with love, and some have been like watching The Notebook. Others have been like the extra features on a DVD of Blind Date's 1st season.

But, as Rascal Flatts said, "others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars."

Rascal Flatts sucks.